Hit List
by malificium
Summary: "Teme, as your best friend, I shall make you a list, and not just any list my young brooding buddy. This is a list of requirements that any woman that wants to date you must fulfil. You just leave this to Ol' Naruto" Run Sasuke. Run.
1. one

Hit List.

"TEME!"

As the shrill cry of Konoha's number one knuckle-headed ninja rang out through the village, a certain Uchiha groaned in frustration. Sasuke had been trying to evade the persistent blonde for the good half an hour, but it was inevitable that Naruto would find him.

"Oi! Teme, slow down!"

"Hn. Go away dobe, I don't have time for your nonsense."

Naruto ran up behind him and slung his arm around his best friend and rival's shoulder.

"Aww come on Teme, lighten up a little. You know I was only kidding before." Naruto explained whilst unsuccessfully trying to slow the glowering Uchiha down. "Besides, I'm sure that there are plenty of girls that could vouch for your sexuality."

Sasuke halted and gave Naruto one of his deadliest glares for bringing up the offensive topic of this mornings discussion between Hyuga Neji, Nara Shikamaru, Naruto and himself. The four had stumbled upon the topic when Shikamaru had announced that he had asked out Ino…sort of…

* * *

><p>After Madara had been defeated and Konoha had started to rebuild itself, Naruto had managed to convince the remaining Konoha elders to allow Sasuke to remain in the village, under strict probation laws of course. Since the two months that had passed, the two had gotten closer and had become practically inseparable.<p>

Naruto had welcomed Sasuke back as if nothing had happened. Even Sakura seemed held back from him. Not that Sasuke had fully expected her to leap into his arms and once again profess her undying love to him.

No. Sasuke had learned, through Naruto and the others that Sakura had grown up. She was no longer the weak little girl that struggled to keep up with her team mates, but instead she had blossomed into a confident young woman, who was renowned for her remarkable medical skills and monstrous strength.

During the time that he had been away, Sakura had trained under Tsunade-sama in hopes to learn more about medic-nin skills and chakra control. Within a few short years Sakura was able to surpass her mentor and quickly became known as one of the best medics in the world. During the war she had healed many patients from different villagers and became famous for her gentle nature and instinctual medical abilities and swiftly became a symbol of hope amongst many.

* * *

><p>When Naruto and he had strolled through the ruined gates of Konoha their reception was what was expected. Villagers and ninjas alike stared at the Kyuubi vessel and village traitor, the two best friends, who had together defeated and ended the tyrant of Madara.<p>

The rookie nine had gathered, congratulating them on their success and commenting on their bravery. Suigetsu and Jugo joined them after they had remained in the village to help defend the home front. Karin ran at Sasuke, shrieking something about forgiving him for his past sins, before latching herself onto his arm. The Hyuga girl had leapt into Naruto's arms, crying profusely, and remained there.

Until Sakura arrived.

The already tense atmosphere became even darker. The bystanders waited anxiously to see the outcome of the first interaction between the traitorous Uchiha and the tender Haruno. Even Karin stopped screeching in the presence of the superior woman. Sasuke, himself felt uncomfortable at the prospect of possibly becoming victim to one of Sakura's monstrous punches.

But her reaction was not what Sasuke or anyone had expected. Sakura was a woman of dramatic proportions. She would either beat the absolute crap out of you until you were not able to blink because it caused you so much pain, or she would confess her undying and pure love to you and make you feel like no one else could possibly make you feel.

Sakura, however, surprised everyone by doing neither of these things. All she did was comment on the wound s that Naruto and he had sustained and ordered them to go to the hospital. Then she turned around and started to walk away.

"Sakura?" Naruto had called out to her, his voice wavering with uncertainty.

"Hurry up Naruto, or I'll have to get someone else to tend to your wounds. Oh and Sasuke," she turned around and looked Sasuke straight in the eye. Then she did something that made his heart stop.

She smiled. The smile, that he would never admit, he had missed and yearned to see for the longest amount of time. The most beautiful and truthful smile that no one but Sakura Haruno could possess.

"Welcome home."

Sakura turned back around and continued walking to the hospital, now with Naruto and Sasuke, obediently following behind her. Team Seven, reunited once again, but this time with Haruno Sakura in the lead.

The villagers quickly parted to make way for the trio. None wanting to have to succumb to Sakura's monstrous strength or to be within the gaze of the unfeeling Uchiha.

* * *

><p>Naruto had maintained that the villagers would eventually warm up to him, but until then Sasuke needed to socialise with others more.<p>

Thus the weekly meeting of the four boys was established. Sometimes the other guys of the rookie nine would drop in and occasionally Jugo and Suigetsu would accompany them and on special, rare occasions they would put up with Sai's social awkwardness as well.

They would gather, usually at Ichiraiku's, and discuss the events of the week, training, in Sasuke's case- probation and, if Naruto pestered, women issues.

This morning had been one of those days that Naruto's pestering became out of control when Shikamaru accidentally let it slip that he had to leave early to go have lunch with Ino.

Sasuke, Naruto, Neji and Shikamaru were having their traditional weekend late breakfast at Ichiraiku's and were discussing the previous day's training routine with their training partners.

Neji had been training with Tenten, his recent girlfriend, as Gai and Lee are on a mission. However their training had been frequently interrupted by spontaneous bouts of 'hot make out sessions', as Naruto liked to call them.

Team Seven had been joined with Team Hawk for their training schedule, but the teams for missions had not yet been decided. Sakura had not been present for yesterdays training, as she had a badly injured ANBU team arrive at the hospital with desperate need for surgery. In fact, her attendance at training seemed to be dwindling in the past few weeks.

Karin used this as an excuse to try and disparage Sakura every chance she got, in hopes to win Sasuke's favour. Unfortunately for her, the male members of the team found it to be their duty to defend Sakura's name, even Suigetsu and Jugo, who had swiftly gotten close to the pink haired medic.

Shikamaru had been sparring with Ino, after Choji had left to find himself a snack.

It turns out the Ino had been spending too much time with Sakura, who had in turn, been spending too much time with Tsunade, and caused Ino to have a sudden tendency to turn everything into a bet.

Shikamaru, had somehow, found himself being roped into either defeating Ino in the sparring contest and having her buy him ramen for the rest of the week, or losing to Ino and having to take her out on a date.

Shikamaru didn't particularly like ramen, (when he told Naruto this, the poor boy almost had a heart attack at Shikamaru's audacity.) and if he beat Ino, she probably wouldn't speak to him for a month.

And he had also been planning on asking her out but hadn't quite…built up the nerve to actually ask her.

So he threw the fight.

* * *

><p>Ino had scheduled their lunch date for today. When Shikamaru told the guys that, Naruto howled with laughter and smacked him on the back. Sasuke and Neji simply smirked at each other. The Nara boy growled ant his "friends" responses.<p>

"Dude! You are totally whipped!" Naruto had said, whilst wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Shut the hell up Naruto." Shikamaru grumbled. "What would you know?"

"She practically asked YOU out. That's so pathetic." Naruto burst in to laughter once more.

"Coward." Neji muttered into his beef ramen, still smirking.

Shikamaru snapped his head around to face the smirking Hyuga. "Oh yes, because you're the epitome of courageousness. Exactly how long did it take you to ask Tenten out, huh Neji?"

"Shut up." Neji, still gazing into his ramen, but now more restrained.

"Yeah that's right! You spent three months perfecting your entrance and exit strategies! Geeze, Hyuga, you were only asking a girl out, not assassinating a rouge Nin!" Naruto snickered at Neji's failure.

"You can't talk Naruto; you haven't even told Hinata how you feel about her."Shikamaru grinned at having finally shut, the now blushing, Naruto up.

"And how exactly _does _Naruto feel about her?" growled, a now fuming, Neji, who had decided that Naruto was a better target to glare at than his ramen bowl.

"H-hey, N-n-neji, ju- just calm down, f-for a se-second," stuttered Naruto, whilst edging away from the dark aura that Neji was emitting. Shikamaru was still smirking at his effective revenge.

"You're all idiots."

The three boys turned to face their remaining companion, who was still calmly eating his pork ramen.

"What are you talking about Teme?" questioned Naruto.

"You're all behaving like complete morons, it's pathetic. And you call yourselves superior ninjas." Sasuke stated calmly.

"Oh yeah…Well…you're the worst out of all of us! You don't even have anyone!" Naruto retorted.

"And I'm glad. Who would want to be distracted by such inadequate things?"

"Hey! Hina-chan isn't and _inadequate thing_! And don't pretend that you haven't been checking out Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, at the same time as wriggling his eyebrow at the last part of his statement.

"What the hell did he call my cousin?" Neji growled as Shikamaru held him back from ripping off Naruto's head.

"Dobe, stop being a moron. Sakura is my teammate, nothing more." And he meant it. Sakura was his teammate; he would even go as far to say that she was his friend. She had supported him when he had returned, not as enthusiastically as Naruto perhaps, but she had been there.

"Oh come off it Teme, admit it! Sakura-chan's a babe AND YOU KNOW IT!" Naruto jumped up and pointed at Sasuke accusingly. "And you're just pissy that she doesn't feel the same way she did when we were genin, and you missed your chance to tell her about the raging crush you had on her when we were twelve!"

Sasuke's hand clenched around his chopsticks. Neji stopped struggling in Shikamaru's grasp. Naruto paused and blinked as he slowly realised what he had just said.

"Whoops…I wasn't supposed to say that was I."

"Wait…Uchiha had a raging crush on who..?" Neji queried.

"I did not have a _'raging crush' _on anyone; the dobe is just a moron."

"NUH UH! Teme you said, and I quote: _'The only girl I'm close to is Sakura'_, which in stuck-up-teme- language means _'Sakura-chan is amazing and I want to make little Uchiha babies with her!'_ and then he made me promise not to tell anyone!"

"I told you not to tell anyone because I knew something like this would happen. You would exaggerate and I would never hear the end of it."

"You know…as much as I hate doing so, I kind of have to agree with Sasuke. Saying that you feel close to someone does not in anyway mean that they have a raging crush on the person. Even if it is and un-emotional Uchiha we are talking about." Shikamaru said with Neji nodding his head in agreement.

"That doesn't make sense!" Naruto exclaimed while trowing his hands up in the air, "How can teme not like Sakura-chan, she's awesome!

"Oh it makes perfect sense Naruto." said Shikamaru, returning to his almost forgotten ramen. Sasuke, too, continued to eat.

"What do you mean Shikamaru?" Naruto cried exasperatedly.

"It means Sasuke's gay."

**_…_**

**"WHAT!"**

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	2. two

Hit List.

"That doesn't make sense!" Naruto exclaimed while throwing his hands up in the air, "How can teme not like Sakura-chan, she's awesome!

"Oh it makes perfect sense Naruto." said Shikamaru, returning to his almost forgotten ramen. Sasuke, too, continued to eat.

"What do you mean Shikamaru?" Naruto cried exasperatedly.

"It means Sasuke's gay."

"WHAT!"

Naruto's outburst had caused him to fall off his stool and bring his bowl of ramen crashing down on top of him.

As Naruto rolled around on the floor, howling in pain, Neji anxiously flicked his gaze between the calm Shikamaru, who continued to coolly slurp his ramen, and the Uchiha, who seemed to be emitting dark energy from his being.

"What. The. Hell. Did. He. Just. Say." Sasuke hissed through his clenched jaw. His two chopsticks snapped in his fist.

Shikamaru stopped his eating for a moment. "You heard me. Just look at the evidence. He continuously rejects any woman that approaches him, he left Konoha for that perverted snake paedophile, and his first kiss was with Naruto."

Naruto choked on his saliva and Neji was becoming more worried by the second. "Uh…Nara…Maybe you should shut up now."

Naruto gulped. He slowly rose from the floor and tried to consolidate his menacing teammate.

"N-now teme, calm down. R-remember, you're still on probation." Naruto whimpered from a safe distance.

"Yeah, don't kill him." Neji added.

"Yeah teme, remember the breathing techniques we were talking about. In and out, in and out. Control your anger teme. Let the sound of my soothing voice help yo-"

"Shut the hell up dobe." Sasuke fished out some money from his pocket and threw it onto the counter. Without making eye contact, he stormed out of the restaurant leaving patrons and bystanders to tremble in the tense atmosphere the aggravated Uchiha had left in his wake.

"Hmmm…I wonder what's got his panties in a twist." Shikamaru commented, and once again, returned to his noodles.

"YOU SHIKAMARU! It was YOU!" Naruto screeched.

"And the fact that Naruto's voice isn't the least bit soothing…"

"WHA-! My voice is totally soothing Neji, what are-NO that's not what we were talking about! You know Sasuke isn't gay Shikamaru!" Naruto jumped up and down on his stool like a possessed monkey.

"Remember how he completely freaked out when we were on that mission at the library, and the creepy librarian dude started hitting on him, and how he doesn't really like Sai because he's too 'friendly'. AND DIDN'T WE AGREE NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT _INCIDENT_ AGAIN!"

"Oh you mean the incident when you and Sasuke kissed?"

"NEVER SPEAK NEJI! NEVER SPEAK!"

"Would you stop yelling Naruto, people are starting to stare." Shikamaru had finished his ramen while Naruto was screeching and had begun searching through his wallet for the correct money. "And I know that he isn't gay."

"WHAT! What is wrong with you? If you knew that Sasuke wasn't gay, why the hell did you go say all those things? Now teme's going to be all angsty in some emo corner of his."

"I said those things because he needed a kick in the ass. He has to stop being so high and mighty so that he-and everyone else -can be happy."

"What are you saying, Shikamaru?" asked Neji.

Shikamaru sighed; it was all too troublesome for him. "Sasuke isn't the kind of person to take advice from people. He's finished all his revenge and whatever. His needs to put all that behind him and finally be happy. I just…gave him a little push…"

"So," said Neji, who had also finished his ramen "you were trying to...help him?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Ahah! So all this was some of your famous Shikamaru-mumbo-jumbo-mind-tricks! You just want teme to get laid! Naaawww you're such a good friend Shika!" Naruto reached across and pinched Shikamaru's cheeks.

"Get off Naruto! Sasuke's right...you are a dobe...maybe you should go look for him. We're supposed to be keeping an eye on him, remember?"

"Yes sir, Shikamaru sir!" said Naruto, saluting his two comrades "I'll go help teme find himself a lady!" he said wriggling his eyebrows and running off to find his tormented team mate.

"Do you really think Sasuke deserved that?" Neji said, turning to Shikamaru.

"I told you, if I didn't say it Sasuke would keep acting the same way he does now."

"No, I didn't mean that, Uchiha needed a kick up the ass, but …did he really deserve _Naruto_ as his wing man?"

The two boys turned to stare at the rapidly retreating figure of Konoha's craziest ninja.

Shikamaru sighed again. "Better him than us."

* * *

><p>Naruto had spent the last thirty minutes searching for Sasuke until he finally found him, wandering the streets aimlessly. Thus leading to Sasuke's current predicament.<p>

"Come on teme! There are plenty of fine women that would jump at the chance to _help you restore your clan_; you know what I'm saying?"

"Shut up dobe, I'm not interested in that kind of thing."

"Wow…so what Shikamaru said…_was true?_"

Sasuke slapped Naruto on the back of his head. "No you moron," Sasuke hissed "it's just…." Sasuke sighed. All he wanted was for Naruto to leave him alone, he was fine the way he was. He didn't need anyone.

"Listen up teme, I can bet you that Shikamaru isn't the only one who's been thinking that you're _playing for the other team_" Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, "Just shut up and listen to me for a second will you teme. If you want people stop thinking that and uphold your 'Uchiha reputation' then I suggest that you find yourself a girl, who knows, you may eventually grow to like her…"

Sasuke sighed and massaged his temples; he was getting a serious migraine from all of this. "If I agree to this will you leave me the hell alone…?"

A wide grin cracked on Naruto's face. "Done! Now, let's see what some of your options are." Naruto scanned the street that they were walking on. "Oooh! What about her, she's pretty." He pointed at a girl with long, flowing auburn hair and dazzling blue eyes, she was standing outside a bookstore with, what appeared to be, a few of her friends; pretty was an understatement. She let out a melodic giggle at something one of her male companions had said.

"Dobe, that's her boyfriend she's talking to…"

"What are you talking about teme, just because a girl laughs at some guy's joke, does not make him her…" Naruto trailed of as the man wrapped his arm around the red head's waist and pulled her into a passionate kiss. "Oh…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto as they continued to walk and the blonde would examine a sample of Konoha's female population. "Hey! What about her? She's hot!" Naruto pointed to a busty, blonde waitress that was working at one of the cafés and was wearing far too much make up and far too little clothing. Her uniform left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

Sasuke gave her one look and snorted. "Her? She doesn't look like she would even know the _definition_ of discretion…"

Naruto blinked. "I don't know the definition of discretion…"

"…Exactly…"

Naruto scowled. "Alright, what about her" he said and pointed across the street.

Sasuke turned. "I don't like her hair."

"What the hell is wrong with her hair?" Naruto questioned, referring to an attractive brunette that was shopping at one of the fruit vendors

"It's too…brown…"

"It's too _brown_?"

"Yes."

Naruto stared incredulously at his friend. "Then what about her?" pointing to a random girl.

"Too short."

"Then her?" he said, randomly pointing again.

"Too tall."

"Her?"

"She looks anorexic."

"Her?"

"I don't think she's showered in days…"

"Her?"

"Her eyes are too far apart."

"Her?"

"That's Hyuga Hinata…"

"GAH!" Naruto cried and hid behind Sasuke until the Hyuga heiress had passed them, oblivious to their presence.

"You're a moron, you know that?" Sasuke said after Naruto had finished cowering behind him.

"Shut up you picky bastard. Why don't you pick a girl then?"

Sasuke heaved a sigh, knowing full well that Naruto would not leave him alone until this whole _ordeal_ was over. "Hn. What about her..?" He pointed to an average looking girl with short brown hair and brown eyes.

Naruto turned around to look at the girl Sasuke had suggested. "Ugh, god no. She doesn't look like she has any personality what so ever. Besides, I thought you didn't like girls with brown hair."

"I never said that, I just didn't like the other girl's hair. Fine what about her." He said pointing to another girl with indifference.

"Eeww no. That's Fukishima Yuki; she was in our class at the academy. She was a total bitch."

"…she was in our class…?"

"Yeah, man I hated her."

"What should it matter about how _you_ feel about her? You're not the one who's going to be dating her." Sasuke inwardly blanched as he realised what he had just said.

Naruto gasped dramatically "TEME! How can you even say that? I'm your best friend! So obviously I'm going to be spending heaps of time with both you _and your girlfriend_. You can't date a girl that doesn't like your friend _or_ that your friends don't like! It's, like a rule! Bros before hoes!" Naruto screeched, clearly appalled at Sasuke's audacity.

"Well then I guess we have a problem." Said Sasuke, clearly not caring about the situation, as he and Naruto continued to wander through the streets of Konoha.

"Yeah, we do. You're a stingy bastard that has no idea about the proper necessities for a suitable girlfriend." Naruto groaned and pondered over the current predicament. Sasuke on the other hand was enjoying the silence that was atypical around Naruto.

Until…

"TEME! I have an idea!"

Yeah…that's always a bad sign.

Naruto, who had been jumping up and down with glee stopped and put on a semi-serious face. "Teme, as your best friend, I shall make you a list, and not just any old list my young brooding buddy. This is a list of requirements that any woman that wants to date you must fulfil."

Sasuke scoffed. "Yeah right. As if I'm going to let _you_ of all people choose the qualities of _my_ girlfriend."

"Alright, alright, you can help as well. What do you say?"

Sasuke eyed him sceptically. He had learned from past experiences that Naruto's 'ideas' always, and I mean _always_, led to trouble. Although if Sasuke was to go through this, it would keep Naruto amused and it would help clear up any…_misconceptions_ towards his...err..._sexuality_. On the other hand, he could make a mad dash to the front gates of Konoha and never be seen again.

No, last time he tried that Naruto had hunted him down and pestered him until he finally gave in and returned. No that plan wouldn't work.

Sasuke groaned. "Alright fine." He regretted saying those words immediately after he saw the grin that was etched into Naruto's face.

"Alright Teme! Meet me at my apartment, 7:30 tonight!"

"Your apartment's disgusting."

"Fine then, I'll meet you at your apartment then."

Sasuke froze. The last time he had let Naruto into his place…well let's just say that he would take fighting Madara all over again than to have Naruto come back…his closet still had a faint smell of pork ramen. Sasuke shuddered at the memory.

"No, I'll meet you at your apartment."

Naruto looked at him, bewildered at his sudden change of opinion but he shrugged off. He was going to get his best friend a lady if it killed him…or Sasuke. But first he had to make some preparations. "Don't you worry Sasuke-teme! You'll have a girlfriend in no time, don't you worry. You just leave this to Ol' Naruto"

Sasuke cringed as he watched the retreating form of his hyper team mate. This definitely did not bode well for the young Uchiha. He should have run, he _so_ should have run.

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	3. three

Surely it wouldn't be that bad…would it?

Sasuke found himself standing outside Naruto's apartment at 7:45. Sure, he was a bit late, but he had a good reason for that. He was debating on whether to actually go or not. Somehow he had convinced himself to give it a chance. Now he wasn't so sure, after hearing the strange ruckus coming from inside Naruto's place.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the door. He was an Uchiha god dammit. What could _Naruto_ possibly do to him? He lifted his fist and knocked on the door.

As the door swung open, Sasuke realised just exactly what Naruto could do to him. There stood Naruto in khaki pants and a blinding orange t-shirt with an equally blinding smile on his face.

"There you are Teme! You're late, everyone else is already here!" said Naruto, tugging the apprehensive Uchiha inside.

"What do you mean _everyone else…_?" Sasuke was able to answer his own question and his query as to what was making all the noise from inside the apartment. In the cramped space of Naruto's dwelling, he was greeted by the faces of all the boys of the Rookie nine, along with Neji, Lee, Kakashi, Sai, Suigetsu and Jugo. How everyone managed fit was beyond him.

"Well, look who decided to finally show!" alleged Suigetsu flashing Sasuke a toothy grin.

"Yeah Sasuke, "said Kiba "even Kakashi showed up before you did!"

"Now, now. I couldn't be late to witness my favourite student finally becoming a man..." Kakashi chuckled from behind his orange book that he was reading, as he sat on the couch.

Sasuke shot him a glare. "EH! Kakashi-sensei, I thought I was your favourite student!" wailed Naruto.

"Naruto stop yelling you're giving everyone a headache." Neji muttered.

"What are you all doing here?" Sasuke asked.

Sai placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "Naruto told us that you were in need of our knowledge in order to find yourself a suitable companion." Sai gestured around the room "We are here as your friends Sasuke-san."

Sasuke stared at the occupants of the room, who returned his gaze expectantly. "When the hell did we become friends…" He turned back to Sai and the hand that was still on his shoulder. "Don't touch me." He shrugged off Sai's hand and stalked over to Naruto's couch and sat down next to Kakashi.

"Ahem, Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked up to come face to face with an agitated looking Shikamaru.

"I wanted to apologise for what I said this morning. It was out of line and not at all correct. I am sorry." Shikamaru said.

Sasuke blinked at him. "Bullshit."

Shikamaru sighed "Yeah, Naruto made me say it, and it's too troublesome to argue with him"

Naruto gaped. "Shikamaru! You're not supposed to say that! What is wrong with you! Are you trying to get yourself killed? I'm trying to help you here dammit! How on earth are you the genius in the group! Why would you possi-"

"Naruto, shut UP!" Sasuke and Shikamaru said in unison. They shared a look and Sasuke gave the cloud-gazer a small 'Hn.' Which Shikamaru returned with a curt nod, and promptly sat down next to the Uchiha.

The remaining occupants stared bewildered at the transaction and the apparent apology and forgiveness. "Fascinating." Sai muttered and began taking notes.

Naruto cleared his throat. "Well, now that everyone is here and...err…settled, why don't we begin? I call to order the first official meeting of the Lets-Get-Sasuke-Laid committee!"

Sasuke sent Naruto one of his most powerful death glares. "We are NOT calling this…'group'…_that_" he hissed

"But…"Naruto whimpered "I've already made t-shirts…"

"Get on with it." sighed Neji.

"Right. We are all aware of the stick that is indefinitely shoved up Sasuke-teme's ass, as well as Teme's lack of feeling and his emotional constipation." Naruto continued. Sasuke growled. He was going to kill the dobe later. When there weren't so many witnesses. "It is the belief of many that if Teme here was to find a…_mate_…he would stop being such a douche and start being more…umm…"

"Youthful?" Lee suggested.

"YES! YOUTHFUL!" Maybe Sasuke could poison Naruto, slip something into his ramen, or he could let one of his kunai accidentally slip when they spar.

"It is our missions as Sasuke-teme's friends, to help him find his soul mate so that he can marry her and make little Uchiha brats with her and name them after me!"

Of course, thought Sasuke, there's nothing wrong with a Chidori to the face.

"Why can't he just go out with one of his fan girls? I'm sure that they would be _more_ than eager." Suigetsu said as a smirk began to spread across his face.

Naruto seemed to have anticipated that exact question. "You see Suigetsu, we, being Teme's friend spend a lot of time with him, and when teme gets a girlfriend, he'll be spending a lot of time with her as well. Now if he were to date one of his irritating, clingy, bitchy fan girls, not only would he have to cope with her, but so would WE!"

A murmur of realisation spread through the room. There was no way that all of the boys would be able to restrain themselves from throttling an irritating fan girl.

"Now you see, since girls will be lining up to date Teme…I have no idea why though…ahem… it is our duty to sort through the psychos and molesters and find any woman that is worthy of dating the bastard."

"How do you suggest we do so?" Jugo spoke up.

"I'm glad you asked Jugo my pal," said Naruto "we shall write a list of requirements each candidate must have in order to date ol' Teme here. So…" Naruto pulled out a pen and paper "any ideas?"

"Well how many requirements are we going to have exactly?" asked Choji.

"Well we can't have hundreds, or teme will never find a girl. And he needs to get laid. FAST."

"What about ten?" suggested Suigetsu.

"Hmm… ten may not be enough. I mean, we can't just let teme go out with any old floozy."

"Twenty then." said Kakashi, putting his book away. Things were starting to get serious. This matter needed his full and undivided attention.

"Alrighty, twenty then." Naruto scrawled out twenty numbered points. "What's our first condition then?"

After a brief silence, Jugo spoke up. "Well…she should be liked by all of Sasuke's friends, right?"

"Excellent start, it should be vice versa as well. She has to like all of Teme's friends and teammates as well."

"Hmm," said Suigetsu. "We may have a problem, there is no way that _Karin_ would possibly like anyone who is going to date Sasuke. I mean, she detests Sakura-chan for just being his teammate…and I don't see any way that anyone would actually like her back…the stupid cow…"

"Ok, we'll make Karin the exception then. This is going well people! Come on, we need more ideas!"

As the group conversed, sharing, rejecting and changing ideas, Sasuke sat silently on the couch and watched on bewildered. Why where these people putting in so much effort for him? Why did they care so much? Why did they want him to be so…happy?

…_Because they're your friends…_

* * *

><p>Naruto stared down at the paper. They had already come up with eight requirements, but they needed twelve more to make twenty. Naruto lifted his head and stared around the room, thinking.<p>

His eyes suddenly widened with realisation. "Ok guys! We need twelve more conditions to make twenty. And since there are twelve of us here," he said, gesturing around the room "we shall each come up with one condition to add to the list! Understand?"

He received nods and mutters of support in reply. Naruto grinned. "Excellent! I shall go first." Naruto touched the tip of his pencil to his chin in thought. He beamed suddenly and began scribbling on the paper. "Teme's girl has to like ramen!"

"Ramen? Really Naruto?" said Kiba.

"I think it's a good idea." Choji agreed.

"You would wouldn't you…"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO ME INUZUKA? ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!"

Kiba gulped. "….nope…"

Naruto laughed nervously. "Ok Kakashi, you next."

Kakashi thought for a second then smiled under his mask. "Sasuke's girl should be open to experimentation in the bedroom."

…

"You're disgusting Kaka-sensei…"

"Just right it down Naruto." Kakashi turned towards Sasuke. "You'll thank me some day." Sasuke cringed, he was really regretting coming to this thing.

"Ok moving on…Shikamaru, what've you got?"

"She must beat me in a game of Shogi."

"EH! But that's impossible! No one has ever done that before!"

"Relax Naruto, if I like her, I'll go easy on her…"

"…alright…whatever you say… Choji, you next."

"She should be a good cook. And she should cook lots of delicious food for me…uh…I mean Sasuke…yeah…"

"Err, right. Ok, Lee go."

"Sasuke-san's soul mate should be the epitome of all things wonderful and youthful!"

"Geeze…coz' I didn't see _that one_ coming…Neji, your turn."

"Hn. A good sparring partner."

"You're worse than teme. How the hell did you get a girlfriend anyway? Ugh never mind…Shino…man I forgot that you were even here…"

"She has to like bugs…"

"Shino, no girl like's bugs." Kiba deadpanned.

"Fine…she must tolerate all species of animal and insects…"

"You're a weird guy, you know that Shino. You next Kiba."

"She has to smell nice."

"…she has to _smell_ nice? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! And you had the nerve to diss my ramen requirement!"

"Shut up Naruto! Do you want Sasuke to date a girl that stunk?"

"…no, but…ugh…never mind…Sai?"

"I have read that in a successful sexual relationship, the two parties must not only be lovers but they must also be friends. Sasuke's girlfriend should also be his friend."

"…you really need to stop reading those things… Suigetsu, you're up."

"Hmm…she should be a good singer."

"Uh. Why?"

"Why not?"

"Alright…Jugo, you go. HEY THAT RHYMES!"

"Sasuke's girl friend should be understanding and caring when Sasuke is having a bad day."

"Every day is a bad day for teme…Ok bastard that leaves just you. What quality do you want your ideal girlfriend to have?"

Everyone turned to stare at Sasuke. He sighed. "I don't care dobe, just write anything."

"EH! No, I can't do that! You have to come up with something, everyone else did!"

"I can't think of anything."

"Well fine! You can come up with something later! I'll just put 'to be advised' for now in number twenty. Don't think you've gotten off the hook teme!" Sasuke just grunted in reply. "Well it looks like we're done people! So here's the deal. If you find any woman that has met any of the criteria, let me know and I'll write her name down until she meets the rest of the standards!"

"Should we make another copy of the list?" asked Kiba.

"No. It's best if there's only one copy. That way no one will find out about it and will be able to cheat. Naruto, you look after the list and show no one this." explained Kakashi.

"Yeah, especially not the girls…" added Kiba. The others nodded in agreement. Ino, Tenten, Sakura and Hinata would be petrifying if they found out that the boys were doing something that would be considered degrading to the female kind…well…maybe not Hinata…

"Heh heh…yes, so it's agreed. No one, outside the people in this room, will ever know about this list. Well, I guess that's it. I officially call to an end the first official meeting of the Let-Get-Sasuke-Laid committee. You are all free to leave." announced Naruto with a proud grin on his face.

"Dobe, what did I say about that name." Sasuke ground out.

Naruto chuckled nervously and began ushering people out. "Come on teme, out you go. You need your beauty sleep if you're going to start searching for your soul mate tomorrow."

"Oh yes, you two," Kakashi called back to Naruto and Sasuke as he left "we have training tomorrow morning, meet at the bridge at five o'clock."

Sasuke gave a grunt in reply. "Well then teme I'll see you tomorrow, maybe Sakura-chan will be there this time." and with that Naruto gave Sasuke one final shove out the door and slammed it in his face.

* * *

><p>Naruto stared down proudly at the list.<p>

**_As the member of the LGSL committee, we have devised a set of 20 requirements any member of the female species must fulfil in order to acquire a date with Uchiha Sasuke._**

**_Each candidate must:_**

_1. Be approved of by all members of teams seven, eight, ten, Gai, Kakashi and Taka (except Karin because she's a bitch._

_2. Appreciate all members of the afore mentioned teams. (Once again with the exception of Karin, because no one could possibly like that bitch.)_

_3. Be beautiful/ sexy_

_4. Enjoy the taste of tomatoes_

_5. Be an exceptional kisser_

_6. Be intellectual_

_7. Have a kind and pure heart_

_8. Have great skills at handling infants and children (and Naruto)_

_9. Appreciate the amazing taste of Ichiraiku Ramen_

_10. Be open to…experimentation…_

_11. Be capable of defeating Shikamaru in a game of Shogi_

_12. Be an extraordinary cook_

_13. ..Be youthful…_

_14. Be a worthy sparring partner_

_15. Show kindness to every species of animal and insect_

_16. Smell nice…_

_17. Be a good friend_

_18. Have a melodic voice_

_19. Have an understanding nature (for when Sasuke becomes angsty)_

_20. **…to be advised…**_

Oh yes. The game was afoot.

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended.<em>


	4. four

Hit List

Naruto strolled towards the usual meeting spot with a wide grin on his face. He could feel it; today they were going to find a contender to be Sasuke's girlfriend. Every ten or so steps that he took, Naruto would pat his pocket to make sure that the list was still in there.

As he neared the bridge, Naruto noticed that Sai, Suigetsu, Jugo and Sasuke had already arrived. Naruto smirked and marched up to his comrades.

"What's up my fellow brothers of the LGSL committee?" Naruto greeted them.

Suigetsu and Jugo smirked at each other and Sai returned Naruto's greeting with his usual "Good morning dickless."

Naruto chose to ignore Sai… this one time, and instead turned to his remaining companion who had chose to remain silent and refused to make eye contact with anyone.

"Hey teme…?" Naruto slung his arm around the Uchiha's shoulder. "Do you feel that? Do you feel that tingling sensation in your bones? You know what that is teme?"

"…Your dobe germs infecting my immune system…?"

"WHA-! Noooo." Naruto said, regaining his previous composure. He brought his mouth close to Sasuke's face so that he could whisper into the avenger's ear. "That's the feeling of your oblivious future-girlfriend about to walk into your life…"

Sasuke scowled. "Didn't I explain to you the system of personal space?" With that, Sasuke pushed Naruto's face away from him with such force, it caused the blonde to topple over and collapse in a heap on the ground.

"GAH! Teme what the hell wa-" Naruto's complaints was cut off by an ear splitting screech.

"SASUKE-KUN!"

Naruto paled. Suigetsu groaned. Jugo shook his head in dismay. Sai silently pitied the Uchiha.

And Sasuke? He may be the last surviving Uchiha, a man who whose name could bring seasoned ninja's to their knees and could cause grown men to burst into tears like little girls…but he was still a human.

So he tried to hide behind a tree.

Who was the cause of these brave, strong, five male's misery? Why it was of course Karin, the remaining member of Team Taka and the most ruthless of all of Sasuke's legions of fan girls.

Karin stood a few meters away from the boys with her hand on her hips and a pout on her face. Where did her Sasuke-kun go? She could have sworn that she had seen that hunk of a man less than a second ago. Where could he and his glorious body, chiselled face, raven locks and smouldering ey-

"Oi skank."

Karin snapped out of her reverie and whipped her head around to glare at the boy who had replaced Sasuke on his old team. "What?" she snapped.

Sai smiled pleasantly. "Wipe that drool off your face, skank. It makes you more grotesque than you already are."

Karin's face reddened. "I was not drooling!" never the less, she wiped the edges of her mouth self-consciously. "And stop calling me skank!"

The boys snickered at the red head and patted Sai on the back. Karin huffed in annoyance. "Sasuke-kun wouldn't like it if he found out you were talking to me like that. Where is he anyway." she said, craning her neck to get a glimpse of the dark-haired male. "I have something very important to discuss with him."

Sasuke pressed his back against the tree. It was early in the morning. Sasuke was not good with mornings. And he certainly did not want to deal with a clingy Karin.

"He's not here yet." Naruto said too quickly to be convincing.

"Don't be stupid. I saw him before and I can sense his chakra." Karin said eyeing the tree that the four other boys were standing in front, and coincidentally, Sasuke was hiding behind.

Shit. Sasuke wrinkled his brow in frustration. He let out a frustrated groan, might as well get this over with.

"What do you want Karin?" Sasuke said, stepping out from behind his tree.

Karin's face immediately brightened. "Sasuke-kun! I missed you! Where'd you go you silly boy?" she cooed.

Sasuke scowled in annoyance. "What do you want?" he repeated.

"Oh yes! I wanted to know when we were going to leave this dump and…go back to the way we were." Karin slid over to Sasuke, slipped off her glasses and batted her eyelashes and pouted. She slipped her arm through his and nuzzled his shoulder.

The four boys looked on sympathetically at their poor, unfortunate friend. No one disserved this kind of treatment.

Sasuke began to open his mouth to speak, but unfortunately for him, it was the unkempt side of Karin's head that was snuggling against his shoulder, so if he were going to speak, he would have gotten a mouth full of red hair.

So he settled for pushing her off him instead.

"Karin I told you. I'm not leaving."

Naruto couldn't help but smile. Sasuke had come a long way from being a miserable avenger who pushed everyone who wanted to help him away. He was finally starting to call Konoha his home again.

Karin pouted a gain and replaced her glasses. "But _Sasuke-kun_…"

Suigetsu snapped. "Would you shut up you cow, you're giving me a headache."

Karin's eye's flashed. "Nobody asked you fish breath!"

"What the hell did you say to me?"

"What, are you deaf too?"

"Shut up you useless bimbo!"

As Karin was about to retort, Sai cut her off. "Will you two just makeout already?"

Naruto choked on his saliva, Jugo gaped and Sasuke raised his eyebrow at the artist.

"WHAT!" Karin and Suigetsu screeched in unison.

"Well I was reading this book Kakashi-san gave to me," Sai held up the first edition of Icha Icha Paradise "and your argument reminded me of a scene where the two main characters were fighting, and then another character came along and yelled 'will you two just makeout already' and I wanted to see if you two would follow their example." Sai flicked to a page and held the book up.

Naruto screamed. "SAI! Put that away!"

Karin omitted a sound that resembled the noise a strangled cat would make. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU _FREAK_!"

"LIKE I WOULD EVER DO ANY THING LIKE _THAT_ WITH SOMEONE AS HIDEOUS AS _KARIN_!" Suigetsu joined in.

As Karin and Suigetsu continued to verbally abuse Sai and each other, Jugo closed his eyes and wished with all his might that Kakashi would arrive soon.

"Yo."

Jugo's eyes snapped open. There, in all his glory, stood the almighty, Hatake Kakashi.

"…dreams really do come true…"Jugo muttered in awe.

"What's all this commotion?" Kakashi asked, staring bewildered at Karin, Suigetsu and Sai.

"Kakashi-sensei! Thank god you're here!" cried Naruto.

The copy-nin chuckled uneasily. "Sorry I'm late but you see, there was this old lady in need of my assistance and as a gentleman I couldn't jus-"

Before Naruto could accuse his sensei, somebody else beat him to it.

"Lair."

There was an abrupt silence as the group gave their attention to the owner of the new voice.

"SAKURA-CHAN?" Naruto yelled at his pink haired team mate, because he was Naruto and screw silence!

Indeed it was Haruno Sakura, the remaining member of Team Seven and leading medic-nin. She let out a melodic giggle at Naruto's brashness. "I'm sorry I'm late, I had to finish up some paper work at the hospital before I could come."

"Lair." came Kakashi's sing-song voice. He laughed. "It feels good to be the one saying it for a change. Tsunade kicked you out of the hospital for over working again didn't she?" His visible eye crinkled as he smiled at his female student.

Sakura just smiled in return. She strolled over and stood next to Naruto. From his position, Sasuke could see that she had indeed been over exhorting herself. The signs weren't prominent but they were there. She had darker circles under her eyes, her posture was causing her to slump forward and her hair was slightly dishevelled.

Sasuke and Naruto shared a look. Sakura was too much of a workaholic. Sasuke hadn't seen her in days, maybe even a week.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Alright, now that everyone is here…I have some news. I'm guessing you already know what this is about, right Sakura." he said, addressing the last part towards the pinkette. Sakura gave him another small smile and nodded, she then turned her attention to the ground.

Naruto cocked his head questioningly. "What's the news Kaka-sensei?"

"Well first off all," Kakashi continued, this time turning his attention to the members of Team Taka, focusing his gaze on Sasuke "the Hokage feels that since you have shown such good behaviour during the time that you have returned, she believes that it would be acceptable to shorten the period of your probation."

"What does that mean?" asked Jugo.

"It means that, by the first day of next month, you will be permitted to go on missions outside the walls of Konoha." Kakashi said, his eyes never leaving the Uchiha's.

"Next month! That's in one week! Alright! This is awesome teme, you finally get to do some real missions again!" Naruto jumped up and down and smacked his best friend on the back. Even Sasuke couldn't help but smirk. He had been aching to do something other than menial D and C ranked missions.

"That's not all…"Kakashi started.

Naruto grinned, still jumping up and down. "What? You have more good news for us Kaka-sensei."

"It's about splitting up the teams."

Naruto stopped jumping, his face becoming troubled. Suigetsu and Jugo exchanged glances. Sai straightened. Sakura remained fixated on the ground.

"Well?" said Karin breaking the silence "Sasuke's staying with us, right?" she edged closer to the Uchiha.

"NO WAY!" Naruto exclaimed, "Granny-Tsunade wouldn't do that! Sasuke's coming back to Team Seven, right!" He looked between Kakashi and Sakura desperately. "Right?"

Kakashi sighed. "Sakura, maybe you should tell him…"

Sakura let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. Naruto turned to her, his brow scrunched up in concern. Sasuke also turned to her.

"Naruto, please don't overreact…" Sakura began quietly

"…Sakura-chan…?" Naruto whimpered.

The medic sighed. "Tsunade-shishou believes that it would be best if….

.

.

.

.

…Team Seven was to reassemble."

Naruto blinked. Once. Twice. What Sakura had said slowly began to register in his small, overworked mind. His face broke out into a grin that would have put Lee's 'Good Guy' pose to shame.

Naruto let out a sequel, which Sakura found to disturbingly resemble a shriek Ino would let out if she saw a cute pair of shoes. "YES! Alright Granny-Tsunade! Team Seven is back, DATTEBAYO!" Naruto began violently fist pumping the air and then pulled Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi into a bone crushing hug, which he quickly let go off and began dancing like an electrocuted frog.

Whilst Naruto was celebrating, Karin let out a strangled cry. There was no way that she would let go of Sasuke without a fight. She shot a quick glare at the pink haired kunoichi, who was being suffocated by Naruto's hug of doom.

Karin was not going to let that big-foreheaded freak steal her man. She spun around and stalked off towards the Hokage tower. She needed to have a word with the busty blonde alcoholic.

"Um…excuse me Kakashi-san" Sai addressed the copy-nin, who had escaped Naruto's grasp, "Where am I to go?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "The Hokage has temporarily placed you with Team Taka. She believes that you are trustworthy enough to keep an eye on them, I hope you're okay with that."

Sai smiled. "Oh yes, I enjoy the company of Suigetsu and Jugo, though I could do without the skank."

Kakashi chuckled and turned his attention back to his three ex-pupils. Naruto was dancing around and chanting 'Team Seven's back! Team Seven's back!" like some kind of mantra. Sasuke's lips were curled upwards into something that could almost be called a smile. Almost. The Uchiha was surprised that he was glad about the outcome. He probably wouldn't admit it, but he was pleased that he was with Team seven again.

Naruto swung around and pulled Sakura into some kind of frenzied waltz. It was then that the final nerve, snapped inside Sakura's head.

"I told you not to OVERREACT BAKA!" she roared and punched Naruto square in the face with her chakra infused fist.

Naruto flew ten feet and into the tree that Sasuke had previously used to hide behind. Once the dust cleared, you could see Naruto sitting amongst the wreckage with tears rolling down his porcelain cheeks.

Sakura felt a pang of guilt. "I didn't hurt you that much, did I?"

"No, no, it's not that…it's just…" Naruto wiped the tears away from his face, sniffled and stood up "this reminds me so much of when we were younger. Right teme?"

Naruto slid over to where Sasuke was standing and began poking the Uchiha. "Right teme? Teme. Teme. Teme. Teme…." Poke. Poke. Poke.

Sasuke sighed. Might as well let the idiot have his moment. "Aa. Dobe."

Naruto let out a girlish squeal. "We have to celebrate, and I know just the place!" he swung his arm around Sasuke and Sakura's shoulders.

"Let me guess," said Kakashi slipping next to Sasuke, "Ichiraiku?"

Naruto let out a joyful laugh. "Where else? Watch out world, Team Seven's back!"

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	5. five

Hit List.

"Team Seven is BACK!"

"GODDAMMIT NARUTO, SHUT UP!"

WHAM!

Teuchi looked up from his place behind Ichiraiku's kitchen counter. No. it couldn't be… he turned to his daughter Ayame…could it?

"OUCH! Sakura-chan! That hurt!"

"Tch. Dobe."

"EH! What did you say TEME!"

Ayame gazed up at her father…it wasn't possible…

"Naruto, stop making such a fuss…people are staring."

"But it was Teme's fault, sensei!"

...was it?

"Baka, Kakashi-sensei's right. You're too loud."

"Sorry Sakura-chan, but I'm just so happy! TEAM SEVEN'S BACK!"

Teuchi and his daughter broke their gaze from each other and turned to face the four approaching figures. It couldn't _really_ be true…

But there they were, the four of them. Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. Team Seven.

Naruto grinned as he acknowledged the ramen stand owners. "Hey old man! Guess what!"

Teuchi was too stunned to respond. There in front of him, stood the four people he never thought he would see together again. He stood there opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water.

Naruto, in his exuberant mood, did not notice the older man's shock. "TEAM SEVEN'S BACK!" he yelled into Teuchi's face, droplets of saliva flying everywhere.

"Ugh! Naruto that's disgusting!" Sakura slapped the blonde over the back of the head "I'm so sorry Teuchi-san Naruto is-" she was cut off before she could finish.

Ayame let out a high-pitched shriek of glee; she clapped her hand together and began hopping up and down. "Oh this is wonderful news! We have to celebrate!"

Naruto grinned and jumped with her "That's exactly what I said!"

Teuchi wiped of the Naruto-slobber from his face and beamed "Marvellous! Simply marvellous! Come, sit, sit!" he ushered the excited Naruto and the slightly confused Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura inside. "Free ramen for our favourite team, reunited once more!"

Naruto gasped "When you say…free ramen…"

Teuchi laughed "Yes Naruto, every bowl is free for you today. Ayame-chan and I have been waiting years for this day to come."

Naruto's eyes began to glisten "You have no idea how much this means to me…"

"Well, we can't let this opportunity go to waste." Kakashi chuckled "Lets order before Naruto has a breakdown. I'll have a-"

"A vegetarian ramen, hold the carrots. A pork ramen with extra tomatoes for Sasuke. A regular beef ramen for Sakura and a miso ramen with everything on top for Naruto. I know, I remember." Teuchi cut in, still grinning. Ayame had already begun to prepare Naruto's miso ramen.

"Wow…even after all this time…" Kakashi continued.

"Like I said, I've waited a long time to fill that order out again." Teuchi chuckled pleasantly "Your orders will be ready in a moment."

Kakashi took the seat on the far left with Sakura sitting on his right. Naruto claimed the vacant seat next to her and Sasuke was left to sit on the stool next to Naruto. It wasn't long before Ayame arrived with Naruto's bowl of ramen, which he greedily begun slurping as soon as she placed it in front of him.

His three team mates watched on in disturbed intrigue. No one but Naruto would be able to put away that much ramen that quickly. Noodles were flying everywhere and soup was splashing against his face.

Ayame arrived again with Sakura, Kakashi and Sasuke's orders, she paused to marvel at Naruto's eating habits and let out a joyful giggle.

"It's always nice to see Naruto here." she commented. Naruto paused from devouring his first bowl and flashed Ayame a dazzling smile, before immediately returning to his favourite meal.

The ramen chef's daughter turned to Kakashi "And you and Sasuke-san seem to be spending more and more time here."

"Ah. You can blame Naruto for that." commented Kakashi before snapping apart his chopsticks.

"Haha..yes that would make sense." she turned her attention to the pink haired medic of the team "But Sakura-chan, I haven't seen you in ages!"

Sakura paused from slurping her noodles "Yes, I've just been so busy with work at the hospital; I've hardly had any time for myself."

Ayame leaned on the counter "Come to think of it, I haven't seen you since you cured me from that nasty bug that was spreading around a couple of months ago."

"Oh yes, I never got to chance to thank you for curing my daughter Sakura-san" piped in Teuchi from the kitchen.

"Oh it's nothing, it's my job." Sakura said off-handedly, and continued eating her ramen.

"Sakura-chan! You're so modest! Even we civilians know of your astounding skills. After all, weren't you the medic who discovered the antidote to that horrible poison that Madara was using during the war?"

During the war, Madara had turned to corrupt medics to help him create a deadly toxin that, when released into the air, could kill an entire village. Hundreds had died from it, and thousands more would have died if the medical scientists of Konoha hadn't come up with an antidote.

Sakura blushed and began playing with the noodles in her soup. "There was a whole team working on that project, it wasn't just me…"

"Nevertheless, you have to be one of the smartest women in Konoha, even the world!" Ayame complemented, in awe of the female member of team seven.

Kakashi snapped to attention at Ayame's praise. He readjusted his mask, as he had already finished his ramen without anyone noticing or even catching a glimpse of his face. That man had _mad_ ninja skills.

The grey-haired ninja cleared his throat, gaining the attention of his students. "Yes, our Sakura sure is _intellectual_ isn't she?" casting a meaningful glance at Naruto and Sasuke.

Sasuke nearly choked on his ramen. Being the perceptive Uchiha that he is, he understood exactly what Kakashi was hinting at. But there was no way…not _Sakura. _Kakashi didn't really think...that…did he?

Naruto on the other hand was completely clueless.

"Yup! Sakura-chan is the smartest person I know! She always got the best grades at the academy!" Naruto grinned proudly at his teammate

Idiot.

Sakura laughed awkwardly "Thankyou Naruto, Kakashi-sensei, but it really isn't a big deal…"

"Nonsense Sakura," Kakashi persisted "I mean if there was some kind of…oh I don't know…_list_…of intelligent women, Sakura would definitely be a _candidate_."

Naruto's face flashed with realisation

"_Finally…"_ thought Kakashi

"Oh my gosh Kaka-sensei…"said Naruto "There should TOTALLY be a list of smart women! Sakura-chan would be NUMBER ONE!" he bounced up and down on his stool.

"_Or not…"_ Kakashi thought again as he face palmed

Sakura looked up at him curiously. What was wrong with Kakashi, he was acting as weird as Naruto…and that' saying something.

"Oh I don't know about number one…" Kakashi tried again "maybe _number six?_"

Sakura wasn't sure if her sensei was insulting or complimenting her. Why was he looking at Naruto so intently …and why on earth did Sasuke look like he wanted to murder his ramen bowl?

Naruto looked appalled. "Kakashi-sensei! How could you say that? Sakura-chan is so much better than that! She wouldn't be six on the list!" as he said that, the hamster began running on its wheel inside Naruto's overworked mind.

….six on the list…

….six…

…list…

…intellectual…

…candidate…

…list…

…number six…

…requirements…

…number six on the list…

…each candidate must:…

…6. Be intellectual….!

"OH MY GOD! KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto exclaimed, as it finally clicked in his mind. Sakura met the sixth requirement on the LGSL committees list. Candidates had to "be intellectual" and Sakura was the epitome of scholarly.

"She's number six! She's number six!" Naruto began chanting and pounding on the bench top and almost knocking over his precious ramen bowl.

Ayame, who everyone had forgotten about, quickly shuffled to the back of the ramen store where her father was. She was _so not_ getting involved with…whatever this was…

Sakura flicked her gaze between her sensei and he blonde team mate. She knew that there was something going on that she didn't know about. She was very...intellectual…after all.

Naruto turned to the brooding Uchiha, who had desperately been trying to evolve into a chameleon and blend into the wall unnoticed. But alas, Naruto probably would have found him either way.

"Hey teme! Don't _you_ think that Sakura-chan is smart?" Naruto said wiggling his eyebrows at his male companion.

"_That dobe…" _Sasuke thought. Then he noticed that his team mates were actually waiting for him to answer… both Kakashi and Naruto were turned to him…and so was Sakura. Great.

There was no getting out of this one. Not with the way Sakura was looking at him, so curiously. Well she was certainly intelligent and there was no use denying it.

He was _so_ going to maim the dobe later.

He cleared his throat awkwardly "uh…I guess…yeah."

"Alright!" Naruto cheered "Nice work Sakura-chan! I should have known that you would be the first one!" Naruto giggled happily, they finally found their first contender!

"_First one? First what exactly?" _thought Sakura_ "Didn't he just say that I was...the sixth? What on earth are these two talking about? Is Sasuke in on this too?"_

"Alright. What the hell is going on?" Sakura asked seriously.

The three males tensed. Oh crap.

"What are you talking about Sakura" Kakashi asked innocently as sweat dripped from his brow.

"Don't give me that sensei. What was with all those looks and that whole number six thing…I'm not a moron, I can tell when you guys are keeping something from me." She turned her attention to Naruto and began to stare him down.

Oh yes, she was a smart cookie. Naruto always cracked under her stern gaze, she knew the easiest way to get the information she wanted would be through Naruto.

And indeed he started sweating immediately and tugging at the collar of his jacket.

"W-what are you t-talking about S-sakura-chan…"he stuttered as his left eye began to twitch. "I have n-no idea what y-you're t-t-talking about. Nope, no i-idea at all. We're not k-keeping anything f-from you. N-nothing at a-a-all. Nothing a-about a l-list or a-anyth- GLARGHBLURGH!"

Naruto was interrupted as Kakashi reached around Sakura and shoved his head into his ramen bowl.

The copy-nin chuckled uneasily "Don't pay any attention to Naruto, Sakura. I mean, who knows what exactly goes on in his strange little mind."

Sakura looked at her sensei suspiciously.

"No seriously Sakura, nothing is going on. You're being paranoid."

She didn't believe him for one second, but she decided to let the matter go. "Alright… but Kakashi-sensei…"

"Yes Sakura?" the silver haired man answered a little too quickly.

"You should probably let Naruto go now…I think he's drowning."

And indeed he was. The poor boy was flailing his arms around miserably as Kakashi kept his head submerged in the ramen soup.

"Oh..right…" Kakashi yanked Naruto's head out from his bowl and allowed the boy to breathe. His face was covered in soup and vegetables and there was one noodle that was shoved up his nose and hanging limply on his face.

Naruto inhaled deeply, causing the unattached end of the noodle to slip into his mouth. As he slurped on the noodle, the opposite end became unattached from his nostril and it disappeared into his mouth.

"OH GOD NARUTO! That's disgusting!" Sakura exclaimed. The two other males shared a look of revulsion.

"What?" Naruto asked innocently "I couldn't just let it go to waste!"

Sakura crinkled her nose in repulsion. As she was about to launch into a lecture about the rules of etiquette and hygiene she was interrupted by a beeping.

She pulled out a pager from her pocket and clicked her tongue in mild annoyance.

"Sorry guys, there's an emergency at the hospital and they need me."

Naruto frowned in disappointment "But…didn't you say that granny Tsunade gave you time off…"

"Yeah, but an ANBU team just arrived back with severe injuries and the other medics aren't trained to heal their level of wounds." She smiled apologetically.

"Bye Ayame-chan, Teuchi-san! Thank you so much for the food, it was delicious!" she called out to the owners at the back of the store.

"Bye Sakura-chan! Come back soon!" Ayame replied.

"I'll see you guys later." Sakura said to her team mates before she ran off in the direction of the hospital.

"BYE SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto called after her.

Kakashi sighed "That girl never stops does she…"

Naruto pulled out the list from his pocket. "Yeah…but that's why she's a perfect candidate! Hey Ayame-chan, do you have a pen I could borrow" he called out the last part to the young woman.

Ayame came out with a pen in hand and handed it to Naruto. The blonde turned the piece of paper over and scrawled Sakura's name on it along with the numbers ranging from one to twenty, then he crossed out the number six.

Sasuke cringed. The dobe was really serious about this whole thing. This was _so_ not going to end well.

"Alright" cried out Naruto "We have the first applicant for the Hit List!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at his companion "Hit List…?"

"Yeah!" said Naruto "That's what we're going to call the list!"

"Really…because that makes it sound like it's a list of people we're going to kill…" Sasuke would have preferred if it was.

"NO! It's called the Hit List, so that when women comply with all the standards, then you'll hit on her teme!" Naruto explained, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Naruto tucked the list back into his pocket and the three of them stood up and farewelled Teuchi and Ayame

"It still sound like we're going to kill them…" Sasuke repeated.

"Just you wait teme! Before no time you're going to have yourself a lady and then you can create the little Uchiha brats you've wanted since you were twelve." Naruto and Kakashi snickered.

Sasuke growled and walked his separate ways from his teammate and sensei. He was starting to get that feeling Naruto was talking about before, bubbling up inside him. Could it be dread or ...could it possibly be curiosity at what was about to come…

...Or was it just indigestion…

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	6. six

**DING!**

Sakura let out a sigh of annoyance and blew stray stand of pink hair out of her face. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the elevator to arrive on her floor.

She had just finished the surgery of, not one, but TWO ANBU agents, who had arrived back in Konoha with intense wounds and severe damage to their chakra system. Being the expert in all things chakra related, she was immediately called in to perform the delicate procedure of fixing the damage that they had sustained. The process had taken little over two hours but in return; it had totally drained her of her chakra reserve.

**DING!**

She pressed the elevator button again. The poor, young medic was beginning to grow impatient. All she wanted to do was to go home, have a nice bubble bath, fix herself healthy dinner, then maybe curl up on the couch and fall asleep and not wake up for an eternity.

**DING! DING!**

Alright, this thing was starting to piss her off. She tapped her foot irritably.

**DING! DING! DING!**

"Stupid, goddamn metal box" she muttered under her breath a she continued to abuse the unfortunate elevator button. "Hurry the hell up."

Her being was oozing out such murderous vibes, it sent a young intern running into the nearest room she could find, in an attempt to escape the bloodthirsty wrath of Haruno Sakura.

**DING! **

**DING! **

**DING! **

**DING! **

**DING! **

**DING! **

**DING! **

**DING! **

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" she roared. Sakura pulled back her arm and clenched her powerful fist, preparing to unleash her rage on the ill-fated metal contraption.

**PING! Whoosh!**

Nicely timed elevator, very nicely timed.

The expression of the occupants within the lift when the doors finally opened was _priceless_. The little old lady at the front looked as if she had just been confronted by death himself and he had told her that she was as expired as the milk in Naruto's fridge. The resident cardiology specialist appeared to have had just had a heart attack, and the man in the back looked as if he had soiled his expensive business suit pants.

Well, what would _you_ have done if you were confronted by the menacing glare of one of the most violent and powerful medics, who could easily tear out your oesophagus and replace it with your spleen.

Yeah…that's what I thought.

"Get out." the twitching pinkette hissed.

Immediately, the cardiologist and the old lady scurried out of the elevator.

"B-but…this isn't my floor…" squeaked the cowering business man.

"OUT!"

The terrified man yelped and high-tailed it out of the elevator. As soon as she had entered the godforsaken contraption, Sakura viciously pressed the close door button the ground floor button. As the lift made its slow decent to the lobby, Sakura checked her watch. How on earth was it only 4:30? She could have sworn that it was much later than that.

She rubbed her throbbing forehead; the surgery had given her a serious migraine.

**PING! Whoosh!**

"But Sasuke- kuuuuuuun!"

Oh dear god, why?

Why, of all things, why did it have to be…

_Karin._

Her migraine increased tenfold.

Normally Sakura could take whatever the psychotic red-head threw at her. She smiled through the insults, clenched her jaw through the abuse, and held her head high above all of Karin's narcissism. She had shown the girl more kindness than she deserved, but it didn't mean it never got to her, though Sakura refused to admit it.

Sakura would never acknowledge that it pulled at her heart to know that she had been replaced, and that Sasuke had actually _chosen_ the tracker-nin to be part of his team. Why Sasuke had picked the crazy fan girl was beyond her.

Sakura shook her aching head at the memories of being one of Sasuke's fan girls herself. But that was a long time ago. And it wasn't fair for her to feel…weird…about being replaced; they had done the same thing to Sasuke with Sai.

'_Sasuke.'_

How things had changed. When Sasuke had returned to Konoha, Sakura had absolutely no idea how she would react. Everyone else apparently had made up their mind on how the two old teammate's reunion would go. It seems that Sakura was supposed to accept Sasuke back with open arms, and the Uchiha would shut her down again… just like the good old days.

No. Sakura wasn't a weak twelve year old anymore, who conformed to other people's wishes. She didn't want to go back to the spineless, worthless little girl. She refused to let the lone Uchiha affect her ever again.

But she couldn't bring herself to avoid him entirely. He had been through so much, and he didn't deserve any of it. He deserved to know that things would get better for him. That didn't mean however, that she was going to let him walk all over her like last time.

Sakura would admit, things had been awkward between the two of them. Everyone could see it. She hadn't been able to make eye contact with Sasuke without all the old feelings of love and resentment having a full blown wrestling match inside her.

Another one of Karin's high pitched shrieks pulled her out of her reverie. She gazed around the lobby and assessed the situation. The patients and the receptionist were sitting awkwardly in their seats, trying to look anywhere but the little group of four involved in creating the ruckus.

Standing in front of the exit was Karin, Naruto, Kakashi…and Sasuke.

Gulp.

The flaming redhead was attached to the Uchiha's arm and flapping her mouth about some godforsaken topic. She perpetually flicked her hair and adjusted her glasses, trying to provoke a response from the uncaring man.

Kakashi, the loving father figure, stood a little aside from the group, shaking his head in dismay and the situation unfolding in front of him. Once in a while he would glance up and shoot a quick glare of disapproval at the screaming banshee woman and whatever she was shrieking at.

Naruto on the other hand, did not hide his disgust at all. The blonde was shaking and his hands were clenched so tight that his knuckles had turned a fluorescent white. Low growls were being emitted from his throat and Sakura feared that the Kyubbi would make its presence known.

And Sasuke…

That man was a master at not letting his emotions be shown. But whatever Karin was saying was clearing affecting him. His shoulders were rigged and his eyes were darker than usual.

Whatever was happening here, Sakura did _NOT_ want to get involved, but her means of escape was being blocked by the four oblivious ninjas.

Maybe if she just snuck back into the shadows…

"Sakura-chan!"

God dammit Naruto…

Just as she was sneaking away, the blonde just _had_ to look up and spot her. Once he had announced her name, the banshee ceased shrieking and all eyes were on her.

'_Well, this is awkward…' _Sakura thought. She cleared her throat and shuffled forward with one of her fake smiles plastered on her face. "uh.. hey Naruto, what're you guys doing here…?"

"We were waiting for you to finish up, Sakura. Now that you're here we can go." Kakashi said, handling the situation and trying to diffuse the awkward tension in the air.

"Um... ok…" Sakura complied, hoping to save the poor civilians from having to endure any more of the uncomfortable atmosphere. She nodded a goodbye to the receptionist and led the group out of the building. The tense atmosphere followed the five out of the hospital and into the street. They walked down the road in silence.

Until of course Naruto spoke up.

"SO…did you save any lives today SAKURA-CHAN?" though he seemed to address the question in Karin's direction instead of the pinkette's.

The young medic and turned and raised an eyebrow at Naruto. He was once again glaring at the red head and she returned the glare equally as strong from the protection of hiding behind her precious Sasuke-kun's back.

Kakashi groaned, he had hoped that they wouldn't have to drag Sakura into this argument; the poor girl already had enough on her mind. His visible eye flicked to the seemingly emotionless Uchiha and back.

"Um…the chakra stabilising procedure went well…I guess..?" she answered uncertainly.

"WOW, Sakura-chan! That sounds so complicated; I bet only an AMAZING doctor like you could pull it off!"

Karin scoffed, from her place behind Sasuke.

The tiny noise was not missed by Naruto's keen sense of hearing. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, YOU BIMBO!"

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise. Now, Naruto was rather easy to irritate but she had never seen him flare up over such a small thing. What exactly were they arguing about at the hospital…?

"N-naruto? What is going on…?" she asked in a small voice.

Kakashi place a reassuring hand on Sakura's shoulder "Don't worry about it Sakura, Naruto's just…" as the older man trailed of he shot a warning at the blatant blonde and the four-eyed freak.

"NO, Kakashi-sensei! I'm not going to let anyone disrespect Sakura-chan, especially not this stupid-"

"Naruto, that's enough."

Naruto stopped abruptly and turned to the pinkette who had suddenly spoken up. She smiled affectionately at the boy she had come to consider as a brother. "I appreciate what your trying do for me, really I do. But it's alright Naruto, you don't need to…er…go so overboard…"

"But, Sakura-chan…"

"No buts baka, I'm not afraid to kick your ass to Sauna. I've already done it once and I'll do it again."

Naruto visibly flinched at the memory; it took a while to convince Garra that he had crashed through the Kazekage's office ceiling because Sakura had been particularly pissed off at the Kyuubi vessel that day. He nodded his head meekly to show that he understood.

Sakura took a deep breath and turned to Kakashi, as he was probably the sanest of the group. "You guys didn't have to wait for me you know. I was just going to go home and turn in early."

Kakashi smiled proudly at his female student. She had handled issue well. Karin had been bad mouthing the young pinkette as soon as she set eyes on the Uchiha walking through the medical centre's entrance. It had probably occurred to the female member of team Taka that Sasuke was at the hospital to see Sakura, and that of course did not sit well with the red head.

Although…it escaped Kakashi why Karin was at the hospital at all.

"Ah yes… we thought that you might do something like that, and that's precisely why we had to come and pick you up." the grey haired man answered.

The Haruno once again raised her eyebrow in confusion…she realised that she'd been doing that a lot recently.

"Yeah Sakura-chan! You never have fun anymore and we barely get to see you! So we decided that tonight, we're going to have a super-special team seven bonding session!" Naruto's dismal mood had been forgotten and he bounded forward in excitement.

A bonding session. With team seven. With Naruto. And Kakashi.

And Sasuke.

Sakura shifted her gaze towards the Uchiha. He stared intently back at her. The pressure of his gaze caused the girl to shift her green eyes towards the ground.

"I..I don't know…" she began.

"Please Sakura-chan! Please, please, please, please, please pleeeeeaaaaaassssse!"

She shifted her gaze to Naruto's face.

Big mistake.

The blonde boy was pouting his quivering lips innocently and his cerulean eyes were shimmering with tears that threatened to fall onto his porcelain skin.

Awwww _man_.

Sakura smiled weakly "oh, alright" she said in defeat.

The expression of desolation promptly disappeared from Naruto's face and was substituted by one of immense happiness. "Yes, yes, YES!" he rushed at the unsuspecting Sakura and engulfed her in a bone crushing hug, "YAY Sakura-chan! This is going to be the best bonding session EVER!"

"Well, I think a _bonding session_ is a stupid idea and a waste of time." came the snobby voice of Karin.

Ugh.

.

.

.

_HEY YOU!_

_Yes you. _

_Are you looking for a person to effectively change the mood from one of joy and bliss to one of complete desolation and bleakness? Well why not turn to __Karin__? She effectively sucks the happiness out of absolutely __everything__ with a unique style of mean-spiritedness with a hint of bitchiness. _

_Karin, the personification of douchebaggery. Only available while stocks last. _

_._

_._

_._

Before Naruto had a chance to bite the girl's head off he was interrupted.

"Good, because you're not invited."

Oooh, burn.

And who was the one delivering this well deserved piece of justice, I hear you ask.

"Sasuke-kun?"

That is right ladies and gentlemen! Uchiha Sasuke, the only man who could have possibly come up with such a witty remark, all whilst keeping a straight face. Naruto on the other hand was…not as skilled.

The young man exploded into such violent laughter he almost crumpled onto the floor in a fit of giggles. Even Kakashi couldn't suppress the grin that was quickly spreading under his mask.

Sakura gaped at the raven haired man. What the hell…just happened. Did Sasuke just…no, he couldn't have… She shook her head in confusion. This was certainly going to be a long night.

Karin stood in shock, gawking at her beloved Sasuke. How could he? And why on earth did he want to spend time with that useless 'team seven' and not her. As the four of them started walking away from her, Karin's hands clenched in fury.

It was that forehead girl. That pink mutant was manipulating her Sasuke-kun, and stealing him away from her. Karin could feel it. As soon as Sasuke had arrived in Konoha he started becoming more and more distant from her, and it was all that _bitch's _doing. Now that 'team seven' had been reunited as well, she was sure to lose her beloved to the hands of that treacherous woman.

Karin adjusted her glasses as she thought back to her meeting with the Hokage. The drunkard blonde woman refused to change the teams back so that Karin and Sasuke could be together. Though it should have been expected, of course that busty woman was going to support the pink head; the girl is her apprentice after all.

Despite everything, Karin was determined not to lose her man. She would never find someone like the Uchiha again, someone who she felt so strongly and so passionately about. NO, that forehead freak better watch out, because Karin was NOT going to back down for a second.

'_This is war.'_

* * *

><p>"Kakashi-sensei, where exactly are we going?" asked Sakura after three minutes of walking and Naruto's retelling of how Sasuke completely shut down Karin a few minutes ago- as if they didn't still remember that.<p>

"Ah, we're nearly there Sakura; it's just around the corner. Oh yes, you're going to enjoy this little restaurant it's one of my favourites!" chirped Kakashi. As they turned the corner Kakashi abruptly stopped in front of a brightly coloured building with large flashing signs, "Here we are!"

Sakura nearly choked, "Kakashi-sensei, are you sure that _this_ is the right place?"

"Of course I'm sure, what wrong with it?" answered Kakashi, clearly offended.

.

.

.

"Well for one…I'm pretty sure this is a strip club…"

.

.

…

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	7. seven

"…I'm pretty sure this is a strip club…"

And it did appear to be one. The bright flashing lights and the signs with scantily clad women on them seemed to suggest so. However Kakashi seemed to be appalled at Sakura's notion.

"Sakura! How could you even…! I would NEVER! I-I-I…" Kakashi spluttered, trying to grasp what his female student had suggested. "This is a perfectly fine establishment, which has a unique catering style! And besides…" Kakashi said as he made his way to the entrance of the…_restaurant_… "…the strip clubs don't open until 9."

Sakura's left eye twitched as she watched the retreating back of her perverted sensei. Naruto let out a gleeful giggle from behind her and pranced after Kakashi. The young pinkette shuddered… this was going to be a _very _long night.

She felt Sasuke move next to her. She turned her head slightly to gaze at his expression. Sasuke was scrutinizing the restaurant and let out an audible groan. He was just as reluctant as Sakura to go in.

"Let's get this over with." he grumbled. Sakura nodded once in response and the two uncomfortably followed their excited team mates.

"Hey, hey! Sakura-chan, teme! Over here!" Naruto called, waving like a madman from one of the booths closest to the bar. Kakashi was seated beside him, observing the waitresses who were wearing…well more like _not wearing_ much clothing at all.

As Sasuke and Sakura made their way to the booth, many of the waitresses' eyes landed on the young Uchiha. Now this is a very common event, so it went unnoticed by the young man. What also went unnoticed were the eyes of the male patrons landing on Sakura.

"Move over, Naruto." the disgruntled medic shoved over her blonde team mate and snatched up one of the menus that was lying on the counters and hid her face behind it.

"This is a wonderful place isn't it!" Kakashi said giggling at one of the waitresses who had sent a flirtatious wink in his direction.

Naruto grinned at his surroundings and at the women who were busy serving other customers, "Yeah… it's pretty cool…"

"They sell ramen." Kakashi added without taking his eyes off the pretty ladies.

"Alright!" exclaimed Naruto fist pumping the air, he turned to his other male team mate, who had taken a seat next to Kakashi, "Enjoying yourself, teme?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows. The Uchiha just grunted in response and fixed his gaze at the clock on the wall.

The blonde leaned over and whispered in Sasuke's ear "Reckon you can find a Mrs Uchiha here?"

Sasuke stiffened and promptly reached across and slapped Naruto over the back of his head. The blonde let out a startled yelp and attracted the attention of one of the waitresses.

The woman scanned the booth that team seven were seated in. Her gaze turned sultry when she laid her eyes on the irritated Uchiha boy…just like every other women who's come across him…

She flicked her long brunette hair over her shoulder and sashayed her hips towards the booth.

"Well hi there handsome, what can I do for you today?" she placed her elbows on the table in front of Sasuke and propped her head up with her hands, giving him the perfect view of her already exposed cleavage.

Sasuke just grunted and turned to face away from her. He was a gentleman after all.

Kakashi and Naruto on the other hand were simply beside themselves with glee. Finally, an attractive woman interacting with them…sort of. Oh the perks of having Sasuke Uchiha on your team.

"I'd like a teriyaki bento please." Sakura's voice came from behind the menu where she was still hiding.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get right to you sweetheart." the brunette said, waving her hand dismissively at the medic. _'Right after I get the number of Mr Tall-dark-and-handsome here' _she thought.

Yeah. Like that was going to happen.

Sasuke snatched one of the other menus off the table and mimicked Sakura, hiding his face so he wouldn't have to endure the persistent waitress's lusty gaze.

Really, the man possessed the immense power of the Sharingan, yet he couldn't hold the gaze of a _(kind of slutty)_ waitress. Heir of the almighty Uchiha clan, right here people.

"Make it two teriyaki bento's and a water." he muttered, never removing the menu from his face.

The young brunette woman sighed, finally taking the hint. "Alright then, what about you two?"

Naruto placed his arm on the table and leaded towards the waitress "I'll have you babe. What say you and I cook up a storm…if you know what I mean" he said with a wink and letting his eyes roam over her figure.

The woman chuckled uneasily. She was used to this kind of behaviour, it came with the job. But that didn't stop it being annoying and not to mention creepy. Sometimes she wished she could reach across and slap the stupid idiots in their smug faces.

Today was the waitress's lucky day because today…Sakura was here to do the slapping for her.

**THWACK!**

"OW! Sakura-chan what was that for?" he yelped rubbing his head where she had hit him with her rolled up menu.

"Don't be a douche Naruto. Stop being rude to the poor girl." Sakura scolded, unrolling her menu.

"Aw shucks Sakura-chan, I just want to show this sexy lady a good time" he said turning his attention back to the waitress and wiggling his eyebrows seductively.

**WHAM!**

There was no rolled up menu this time. Just Sakura's chakra infused fist. Naruto yelled in shock.

"NARUTO!" Sakura barked "What did I just say! You will treat women with respect do you understand me!"

He nodded meekly and shielded his head from anymore of Sakura's attacks.

"Now apologise."

"Eh!"

"Now!" she hissed, her eyes flashing dangerously

"I'm sorry…" Naruto mutter shamefully.

Sakura turned to the stunned waitress. "I'm sorry about him. He's always acting like a child, but he needs more telling off than any child does."

The brunette chuckled lightly "It's alright. So it was two teriyaki bentos and a water, I'll have them too you shortly." she turned to head to the kitchen, but not without sending a quick grateful smile towards the pinkette.

"But-but..." stuttered Kakashi "…she didn't take my order."

"Me neither!" whined Naruto.

"Serves you right." Sakura huffed and turned to stare out the door. She should have stayed at the hospital for a couple of more hours.

"But Sakura-chan! All the other guys were hitting on the other girls!" Naruto exclaimed.

"That doesn't mean you have to!" Sakura snapped "That poor girl has probably had hundreds of assholes leering at her, she doesn't need another creep. I can tell you that half these girls have this job because they really need the money, _not_ so they can be hit on by sleazebags."

"But-but- heaps of girls hit on Teme-"

"And you know how much that annoys him, Naruto." she said in a gentler voice "I'll tell you this, pickup lines never work on women unless they are either very stupid or very drunk. And girls talk to each other. Don't get the reputation of a douche bag by pissing off just one girl. Word spreads fast."

Naruto sighed, "Your right…but…why don't you ever go off at Sasuke's fan girls like that?"

The medic laughed, "What? You want me to beat the crap out off all Sasuke's fan girls?"

…that didn't sound like such a bad idea to the Uchiha boy.

The brunette waitress suddenly returned with their order in her arms. She placed a glass of water and one teriyaki bento in front of Sasuke and placed the other in front of Sakura, along with a strawberry milkshake.

"Oh, um.. I didn't order this." Sakura said pointing to the delectable looking drink.

"It's on the house sweetheart." the waitress replied with a smile.

Sakura blinked in surprise, and then flashed the waitress a grin before slurping some of the strawberry milky goodness.

"And I'm really sorry... for before" Naruto piped in sheepishly rubbing the back of his head with an apologetic smile on his face.

The brunette smiled "Apology accepted. Besides, I've had worse." she turned back to the young medic "Wow, that's quite a turn around you managed with him. You must really have a way with _children_." the two women shared a laugh, while the words of the waitress rattled around in Naruto's head.

…_You must really have a way with children…_

…_Quite a turn around you managed with him…_

…_Way with children…_

…_handling infants…_

…_way with children…_

…_candidates…_

…_Each candidate must…Have great skills at handling infants and children… (and Naruto)!_

Naruto nearly jumped out of his seat as it finally hit him. He rummaged out the folded piece of paper from his back pocket and poked Kakashi in excitement as he pointed elatedly at the eighth requirement on the list.

Kakashi's visible eye widened in surprise before it crinkled in amusement as a smile spread under his mask. Their little Sakura had done it again. Two requirements in one day, if she kept going at this pace, Kakashi's dream of green-eyed, black-haired godchildren would surely come true.

What surprised Kakashi though was that _Naruto_ had picked up on trait. Maybe all the punches to the head he got from Sakura were actually doing the boy some good…

Sasuke turned, eyebrow raised, to see what Kakashi and Naruto were giggling about this time. He stiffened when he realised what they were pointing at. '_The Hit List'_

Sasuke shuddered. He couldn't believe he just called it that. He leaned over and hissed at them, "You can't be serious. Put that away idiot!"

"Quit your bitching teme, look Sakura-chan's got another one of the _qualifications_." he giggled at the end. He pointed to the piece of paper.

**8. Have great skills at handling infants and children (and Naruto)**

Well, he supposed it was true. Sakura was always good with children, and she worked with plenty of sick infants at the hospital. And Sasuke had to admit, no one could handle Naruto better than Sakura. Sasuke probably would have ended up ripping the blonde's irritating head off if the pink haired medic wasn't around to smack Naruto on the head.

But that wasn't the point. "Moron, put that away before Sakura sees!" he hissed. Their female team mate would kill them all if she found out what they were doing.

Naruto seemed to realise that too as he hastily stuffed the list back into his pocket before Sakura noticed. Luckily she was too absorbed in the conversation she was having with the waitress to notice the exchange of words between her three companions. Once the waitress left Sakura turned her attention back to her delightful strawberry drink. God if she could, she would marry the milkshake.

A loud rumbling bought her attention back to her team mates. Naruto chuckled guiltily and rubbed his stomach. "She still didn't take my order…" he muttered.

Sakura sighed, feeling sorry for the boy she pushed her bento towards him, "Here you can have half of mine…"

Naruto's face brightened "Thanks Sakura-chan! You're so awesome!" he said before he began munching on the food.

Kakashi laughed awkwardly and turned to his dark-haired student. The waitress hadn't taken his order either…

"H-hey Sasuke…"

Sasuke just grunted in response and pushed his bento towards his grateful sensei.

Team seven enjoyed their meal with Naruto chirping bits of uninteresting titbits into the conversation and Sakura grumbling for him to shut up and eat.

* * *

><p>By the time team seven finished eating it had gotten dark outside. They were about to head home when a deep voice stopped them.<p>

Three guys were leaning against the wall outside the restaurant when one of them called out to Sakura, "Hey there sexy, how's it going." His companions snickered in delight.

Sakura rolled her eyes and ignored them and began walking home.

Her overprotective teammates weren't as civilised as she was. Kakashi had to place his hand on Naruto's shoulder to prevent the blonde from ripping the intoxicated men's faces off. Sasuke's sharingan had activated automatically.

What…? He felt that it was a…necessary precaution.

The three drunk men were either incredibly stupid or pissed of their faces because they didn't seem to notice the murderous intent of the three ninjas.

"Hey babe, why don't you ditch these losers and come have some fun with me and my buddies?" the guy said, strutting over to Sakura.

Oh Naruto was _so_ ready to pounce.

Sakura groaned… this guy was getting on her last nerve.

She felt his alcoholic breath on the back of her neck.

Alright, that was it.

She spun around and gave him a swift knee to the groin.

The man doubled over in pain and clutched his family jewels. His buddies retreated, shocked and the young woman's strength.

Sakura straightened and turned to face her stunned teammates. "And that boys, is why you never hit on a woman like a douche bag. I'll see you tomorrow at training." And with that she turned and began her way home.

"Wow…" muttered a dazed Naruto, "Sakura-chan's really strong isn't she?"

Sasuke and Kakashi nodded.

"She can really handle herself in tricky situations…" he continued

Two more nods from his team mates

"But we're still going to follow her to make sure she gets home safe, right?"

The three men glanced at each other and nodded simultaneously and headed off into the night after their precious pink-haired princess.

…over protective dimwits…

* * *

><p><strong>Hello there readers. This is Cap'n Jackelback. I would just like to take a moment to thank all those who have been reading and reviewing. Every single review is appreciated. I love you all!<strong>

**I would also like to ask you for a quick favor. **

**It would be much appreciated if you read my other story **_Locked In_** and reviewed that as well. The first three chapters are by my friend _Ryoko101_; I took over the story after she left FanFiction. It would mean a lot to me if you guys could review and point me in the right direction and give me your opinion. It would be much appreciated. Thank You.**

**Much Love, Cap'n Jackelback**

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	8. eight

"Seriously Forehead, you need to get laid or something."

Sakura choked on her coffee. She should have known that meeting up with the girls before training was a bad idea. Ino had been nagging about Sakura's love life _or lack of_, for the past ten minutes, whilst the Hyuga heiress and weapons specialist did nothing to help their poor, pink-haired friend.

"I mean come one! You're a doctor for crying out loud! Do you know how many men fantasise about getting it on with the sexy doctor giving him a _physical... if you know what I mean_?"

Hinata blushed furiously and slurped her iced tea, slightly mortified that Ino had screeched something like that out for all of the café to hear. Tenten snorted, she grabbed a napkin as some of her beverage decided to make a second appearance from her nose.

Sakura glared and hissed at the blonde "_PIG! Shut up, everyone can hear you!_"

"Well good" Ino said as she flipped her long hair over her shoulder "maybe someone will volunteer to be your bed buddy."

Sakura buried her face in her hands. Why god, _why_?

Tenten decided that Sakura had suffered enough "Give her a break Ino. Besides Shikamaru only _just_ asked you out the other day."

The mention of her pineapple-headed teammate sent Ino into a fit of giggles. Her three companions exchanged glances…Ino was so easily distracted.

"Shika-kun is so cute, isn't he?" the blonde giggled and twisted a strand of hair between her thumb and index finger.

As the blonde gazed dreamily off into the distance in a Gai/Lee manner, Sakura thought she was safe.

"But back to the point! Forehead's pathetic love life!" chirped Ino.

_"God dammit..."_thought the pinkette.

"Come on Forehead. Even Tenten's managed to snag a guy before you!"

The bun-headed girl frowned at her friends tone "What's that supposed to mean?" but she was ignored.

"Hina-chan doesn't have a boyfriend either!" Sakura countered. Said Hyuga shrunk in her seat. She was hoping to stay out of this conversation.

"Yeah but everyone knows that Hinata's got her eyes on your colour blind team mate...though I have no idea why, really Hina, you could do so much better.." Ino said addressing the violet-haired girl who was slowly sliding down her chair.

"You on the other hand haven't got anyone to even fantasies over..."

Sakura sighed and took a sip from coffee.

"...unless you're still in love with Sasuke..."

.

.

.

A million thoughts flew threw Sakura's mind all at once. Was that it...was that why she was refusing to go out with anyone? Was it because subconsciously...she still harboured feelings towards the Uchiha? Did she still..._love him?_

No. Of course not. She had gotten over her teenage crush years ago. She had moved on with her life...

Like how he moved on with his...

No. Of course not...

"No. Of course not." Sakura voiced her thoughts and took another sip from her drink.

The other girls glanced anxiously at each other.

The pinkette raised her head at them and sighed. "Seriously guys, that was years ago. I had no idea what love even was and besides, I was a silly little fan girl back then…so were _you_ Ino…we both matured and got over him."

Her friends looked at her uncertainly.

Sakura laughed "You don't actually think I have a crush on the Uchiha do you? Come on guys! I was his team mate for ages remember…I know all his nasty little habits. True, he has less…_quirks_ than Naruto…but a girl can only put up with so much _high-and-mightyness_ for so long. He can be more of a bitch than Ino sometimes" She chuckled again to herself, releasing the tense atmosphere.

The uncertainty vanished from the friend's faces and they joined in with her laughter as they got up to leave the café and head to the training grounds. Sakura had convinced her friends that she was over Uchiha Sasuke.

Now all she had to do was convince herself.

She glanced at her blonde friend _"Damn you Ino-pig…if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be having these doubts…"_

As the Yamanaka girl laughed at something Tenten said, Sakura couldn't help but think_ "Why do I have such an annoying blonde best friend…?"_

And at that very same moment, on the other side of town, a certain Uchiha was thinking the exact same thing.

* * *

><p>"<em>Why do I have such an annoying blonde best friend…?"<em> Sasuke thought to himself as Naruto _literally_ dragged him to Ichiraiku's for breakfast.

Who the hell eats ramen for _breakfast?_

"Dobe, stop pulling me. The ramen stall isn't going anywhere, idiot."

"Yeah, but the other guys might leave if you don't hurry your pretty-boy ass!"

"_Pretty-boy ass…what the…?"_ Sasuke stopped abruptly causing Naruto to lurch forward, "What _other guys_?" Sasuke asked.

"What teme, were you hoping that it was going to be just you and me?" Naruto said smirking.

Sasuke punched him on the arm. He glared at his now wounded team mate. "Alright, aright" muttered Naruto, rubbing his sore arm "Suigetsu, Juugo and Sai are meeting us there...now come on."

"Dobe." Sasuke said warningly, he knew that the blonde was keeping something from him.

Said blonde huffed. "Fine, we're holding an abridged meeting of the LGSL committee, okay. Now move Mr Grumpy-pants." Naruto decided that pushing Sasuke from behind would be a better method than pulling him.

Sasuke growled. Great, just what he needed.

"See teme, they're already there!"

And indeed they were, Juugo, Suigetsu and Sai were already seated and slurping their ramen. They raised their heads in synchronisation when they heard Naruto's loud voice.

"Hey guys!" the Kyuubi vessel exclaimed as he claimed a seat. Sasuke just nodded his head in acknowledgement of the three.

"About time you two got here" Suigetsu greeted "we got our hopes up that Uchiha was busy with _female friend._" he chuckled.

"Well that's what we're here to discuss isn't it," Naruto ordered his ramen from Teuchi and turned back to the boys "and there have been some interesting developments concerning the hit list."

Sasuke let out an audible groan as the three turned to face Naruto.

Development's already? Damn, the Uchiha works fast.

"You've found a girl that met a requirement?" Suigetsu voiced the common thought.

Naruto grinned and pulled out the list from his back pocket "Not just one requirement, but TWO requirements!" he said in glee.

Sasuke began eating his ramen slowly, his aura radiating angst.

"Well" Juugo leaned in inquisitively "who's this mystery girl?"

"It's our very own Sakura-chan!" Naruto sang happily and flipped the list over "See, see she fulfilled requirement 6. _Be intellectual_ and requirement 8. _Have great skills at handling infants and children (and Naruto_)"

"Well I can see how Sakura-san meets condition six, but how did you figure out that she suited requirement eight?" Juugo asked.

"She told him off for trying and _failing_ to hit on a waitress." Sasuke muttered loud enough for the boys to hear.

Suigetsu and Juugo laughed wholeheartedly as Naruto glared at his raven-haired teammate. "Hey! It wasn't that bad!"

Sasuke scoffed "Please, Lee could have done better."

"Lee does not have _my_ swag!"

"Dobe, you don't _have _swag. The only hope you have is lots and lots of alcohol." Sasuke turned to his flustered team mate, "Look on the bright side. After you've drunk you're self stupid, you can _swagger_ home after being rejected by every girl in Konoha." he mocked.

Juugo and Suigetsu bellowed with laughter, even Sai let a small smile grace his lips. Naruto was about to pounce on his friend when their young artist companion brought their attention back to the original topic.

"Hmm…so, Chicken-butt and Ugly. Interesting" Sai muttered and returned to his ramen whilst Sasuke glared at him.

First pretty-boy then Mr Grumpy-pants now Chicken-butt. This really wasn't Sasuke's day with nicknames.

"Yeah!" Naruto exclaimed as the smirk disappeared off the Uchiha's face and transferred on to his "Chicken-butt and Ug- I mean, Sakura-chan!"

"Damn," cursed Suigetsu, also returning to his food "I was hoping to get a piece of Pinky for myself…"

A dark silence enveloped the group. Oh Suigetsu…you _sooo_ should not have said that. Naruto turned and mustered up his best imitation of Sasuke's glare "What did you say about Sakura-chan" he hissed in a low voice.

The water nin chuckled uneasily _'Shit.'_

And then Naruto unleashed all hell on the unsuspecting boy.

"SAKURA-CHAN IS NOT A PIECE OF MEAT FOR YOU TO OGGLE AT, YOU SICKO!" Naruto smacked the silver-haired boy repeatedly with his chopsticks and continued to yell obstinacies at him. "I SWEAR TO KAMI-SAMA I WILL TAKE THESE CHOPSTICKS AND SHOVE THEM IN PLACES WHERE CHOPSTICKS OUGHT NOT TO BE SHOVED UP IF YOU LAY A SINGLE FINGER ON HER!"

The Uchiha had stiffened when he had heard the word come out of Suigetsu's mouth. Like Sakura would ever even consider dating someone like _Suigetsu_. Not that he cared or anything. Pssh… of course not.

Sasuke let out a breath and released his fists that he didn't realise that he had been clenching. Sai on the other hand _did_ notice that the Uchiha's fingernails had been digging into his palms. _"Well that interesting,"_ the artist thought to himself _"That's very interesting."_

Naruto had regained his composure and had stopped abusing Suigetsu "And besides," he said returning to his beloved ramen "Teme and Sakura-chan are going to have cute little bastardly children that they're going to name after me."

Sasuke scoffed "There is no way in _hell_ that I'm going to name any of my kids _Naruto_" he pronounced the name like it was some kind a disease.

Naruto pouted "What if Sakura-chan wants to name the kid after me, you wouldn't go against her would you?"

"Like Sakura would ever agree to name-" Sasuke blinked and caught himself. He was NOT having children with his medic-nin team mate! He cleared his throat as Suigetsu and Naruto snickered at him. "Speaking of Sakura…" the Uchiha began.

Naruto grinned "What? Already thinking about Sakura-chan, huh teme?"

"Yes I was." Sasuke said smoothly to the surprise of his companions. "I was thinking that Sakura would…"

Naruto leaned in, keen to hear what the Uchiha was going to say.

"…skin you alive if we're late to training." He looked at the clock hanging on the wall "And judging by the time, we have three minutes to get to the training ground." His fished out the correct money from his pocket and began walking to their next destination.

Naruto gulped. Sakura-chan hated wasting time. And when time was wasted, Naruto was the one to pay the price. It was enough that Kakashi was always late, so Naruto, Sai and Sakura used to train by themselves until he arrived. He shovelled the rest of the noodles into his mouth and with the other guys, paid for their food and hurried to catch up to the Uchiha.

* * *

><p>Sakura waved goodbye to her friends as they headed off to their own teams. She sighed contently as she strolled towards Team Seven's bridge.<p>

'_Team Seven's bridge huh?'_ she mused and chuckled to herself. _'I wonder what this place is actually called."_

She closed her eyes contently and breathed in the cool air and let the warmth of the sun's face radiate onto her. How long ago was it since she had a moment to herself? And how long would it take for Naruto to arrive and interrupt her tranquillity with his obnoxious voice.

But it wasn't Naruto's obnoxious voice that disrupted her.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

No. this voice was so much worse.

Sakura sighed, opened her eyes and mustered up the warmest smile she could. "Good morning Karin."

The red head didn't bother returning the greeting she was too busy looking for someone else "Where's Sasuke-kun?"

"None of the guys are here yet." Sakura answered which earned a huff from Karin. The young medic glanced at the red head. Sakura used to be just like her. She used to be completely in love with Sasuke.

Key words being _used to_.

Karin felt Sakura gaze and turned to face her with her hands on her hips and a frown on her face."Listen," she began "I don't know what you and my Sasuke-kun used to be, but he's moved on alright. So don't even bother."

Really? Was Sasuke the only reason Karin despised her so much? Well, Sakura might as well fix that.

"Don't worry Karin. I never meant anything more to Sasuke than a team mate." Sakura said, surprising herself with the slight tone of sadness in her voice.

Karin glared at her suspiciously. Why should she trust this girl, I mean, who knows what she's _really_planning. "Yeah, whatever." Karin huffed "Just know that you'll never win against me."

Her words echoed in Sakura's mind _"you'll never win against me. It's all a big competition to her...and Sasuke's the prize."_

Before either girl to react they were interrupted by a familiar booming voice.

"SAKURA-CAN!"

An orange blur came hurling at Sakura from the side and enveloped in a massive bear hug. "I'M SORRY SAKURA-CHAN! IT'S TEME'S FAULT THAT WERE LATE! I'M SOOOO SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" the blob of color screamed.

Once Sakura regained her balance, she gently pried Naruto off her. "It's all right Naruto, you're not that late." she muttered

Something was wrong. Naruto backed up so he could get a better look at her. Her eyes weren't sparkling like they usually do and her small smile seemed forced. Naruto didn't get a chance to ask her what was wrong before he was shoved out of the way as Karin barged towards Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun! Good morning!" Karin greeted flirtatiously "How are you?"

Sasuke merely grunted in reply.

Sakura couldn't help but think _'Déjà vu'_

"How long do you think it'll take Kakashi to get here?" Suigetsu asked after the greetings were over.

"Not that long actually." came a deep voice. There, in the flesh, stood Hatake Kakashi in all his glory.

Naruto blinked, then immediately snarled and pulled out a kunai "Who the hell are you? Kakashi-sensei is never this early."

The man laughed awkwardly "Calm down Naruto. I decided to come especially early today…I mean I couldn't miss the first official training session of the newly reunited team seven, now could I?" Kakashi grinned under his mask.

Naruto dropped the kunai and mirrored his sensei's expression. "Well then, let's get going!" he chirped. He hooked arms with Sasuke and Sakura and began dragging them to the training area.

Karin glared. There was no way in hell she was going to let that heifer get all hot and sweaty with _her_ Sasuke-kun. She stalked after the three and was about to latch herself on the Sasuke's unused arm until…

"Karin, we're training over there." Suigetsu smirked and pointed to the opposite direction to where team seven were heading. His female team mate glared at him, there was no way she was giving up that easily. A sudden idea popped into her mind and an evil grin spread across her face.

"Oh…but I was really hoping…to spar with Sakura-chan." she said with a smirk.

The young medic blinked. What? Karin wanted to train with her? Did their little conversation before really change her mind? When Sakura saw the grin on the girls face and how her eyes kept flicking over to get a glimpse of the Uchiha's reaction, she knew that wasn't the case. Karin wanted to look good in front of the Uchiha. Karin thought that she was going to beat her _so easily_.

Hell. No.

Sakura's eyebrows furrowed and a look of determination and anger etched it's self on her face. She _despised_ being underestimated.

"I think it could be a good idea" Kakashi chimed in. Oh how he wanted to see his talented Sakura wipe the floor with that attention seeking hag. Besides, Sasuke hadn't seen the full power of the force known as Haruno Sakura. Maybe it would finally get the boy's hormones to kick in and inspire him to hurry up with the process.

Karin couldn't help but feel pleased with herself. She was going to prove to Sasuke-kun that she was the superior woman and that the little pinkette had nothing on her. Plus it was a brilliant excuse to beat up the annoying girl. Once she slaughtered Sakura, Sasuke-kun would be in awe of her amazing skills and see that Karin+ Sasuke equals beautiful, strong, talented babies! It took every nerve in Karin's body to prevent her from squealing.

Naruto grinned and swung his arm around Sakura's shoulder "Alright Sakura-chan!" he pulled her closer and whispered in her ear "this'll be an interesting _warm up_" he snickered.

The young medic pushed him away and walked to the training area. She didn't care what Karin was planning with Sasuke, but if she thought for one second that Sakura was a weak little push-over, she was (going to be) sorely mistaken. No-one underestimates Sakura Haruno without getting a serious beating.

The same thought was in both girls' minds as they glared at each other from across the field.

'_It's on, bitch.'_

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	9. nine

This chapter is dedicated to **Blurple121497**, for not only giving me the best review I've ever received, but also pushing me to my 100th review. The story Hit List is dedicated to every person who has ever given me feedback or their opinion on this story. Thank you so very much, it means so, so, so much to me.

Much love,

Cap'n Jackelback.

* * *

><p>Naruto could really go for some popcorn right now. Yeah. Some nice, buttery popcorn would go great with watching Sakura-chan kick that psycho red-heads ass…<p>

Yeah.

"Yo, Kakashi..." Naruto muttered to his sensei who was watching their pink haired teammate pulling on her black gloves leisurely. Kakashi merely grunted. "I want popcorn…" The copy nin had to admit, popcorn would be nice, but he didn't want to miss this. Watching Sakura spar with _anyone_ is beyond rare, she usually trained with the other medical ninjas with their complex Justus and what not. He would never miss an opportunity to watch his favourite student show off her skills.

"Get it yourself…" he hissed. Naruto grumbled…but quickly got over it.

"Oi teme…I want popcorn."

Sasuke momentarily turned away from the two girls who had both been his teammates at one stage. "So?" he asked incredulously.

"Get me some, bastard."

"Get it yourself, dumbass."

"Why won't you get it for me, you arroga-" Naruto paused halfway through his insult, earning a raised eyebrow from Sasuke. The blonds' eyes were wide, as if he had just realised something.

"Oho! I see how it is! You don't want to miss the catfight!"

Nothing Naruto says ever makes sense, but this made even less sense than all his other statements, so Sasuke had to ask, "What the hell are you on about dobe?"

The idiot nudged him in the ribs "Come on teme, you know what I'm talking about. The perfect catfight, two girls at each other's throats. Nails, fists, legs and _clothes_ flying everywhere." He added another nudge and a suggestive eyebrow raise for good measure. "Though it would be great if it was some other girl instead of Karin…" Naruto mumbled to himself.

Naruto's hypothesis was responded to with a fist to the face, courtesy of the young Uchiha. As the idiot yelped, Sasuke sent him one of his trademarked UchihaGlares©

Idiot. That's not how it was. That's not how _he_ was. He didn't want to miss the fight, but it definitely wasn't for the reasons the dobe mentioned. Everyone had been telling him how much Sakura had improved over the years and that she could even best the likes of Tsunade-sama. But he needed to see it for himself. Sure, he was willing to admit that Sakura had without a doubt grown, but he always thought that she had just stuck to her medical training.

Whilst Naruto nursed his newly sustained injury, Sasuke turned back to the two girls. Karin was clearly shooting sultry glances at him while performing her rather provocative stretches. Sakura on the other hand wasn't even facing him as she stretched down from her hips and placed her palms flat on the ground, and in the process giving Sasuke the just right view of her perfectly shaped as—

WOAH.

Where on earth did _that_ come from? Damn hormones, the dobe had been threatening that they would make their existence known to Sasuke and when they did, he would end up jumping the closest thing with a pulse.

Like hell.

He'd suppressed his hormones when he was a teenager and he would bloody suppress them now. Though it would be a lot easier if Sakura would stop with her god forsaken stretches. Seriously, she should be plenty warmed up by now Sasuke thought… _he_ certainly was…

Completely oblivious to Sasuke's inner turmoil, Sakura turned to face her opponent, "Alright, let's get this over with…" she gritted out.

Karin turned her attention away from her beloved Sasuke-kun, towards the pink haired menace. That stupid little bitch thought that she could take Karin down. Idiot.

Karin flicked her long hair over her shoulder then got in to her stance. Her opponent's eyes narrowed and mirrored her posture.

There was no way that Karin was going to let little pinky get the upper hand on her. She luged forward suddenly, kunai in hand. Sakura didn't even bat an eyelash when she simply side-stepped out of the way and sent Karin tumbling clumsily to the ground.

'_Lucky move…let's see that bitch try this.'_

She leapt forward and let out a succession of attacks, which the medic quickly dodged. "You might as well give up now." Karin hissed as she slashed her kunai at Sakura's face, "There's no way that a weakling like you will ever beat me."

Oh Karin. You have so much to learn. With air of disinterest, Sakura struck Karin's wrist, sending the kunai flying somewhere into the trees. The young medic landed a powerful blow to her opponents' rib cage, causing the girl to collapse, sprawled on the ground.

'_That's not possible!'_ Karin shot a glance towards Sasuke-kun. His eyes were on Sakura, while Naruto and Suigetsu hopped around and cheered the medic on. _'He's looking at her…why is he looking at her?!'_ A strangled cry escaped her lips as she launched herself at the Haruno. _'There's no way she'll be able to dodge this!'_

It turns out Sakura wasn't planning on dodging anyway. Her fists flickered green as she channelled chakra to them. Timing is everything. As the red head rapidly approached, Sakura prepared herself, and just at the right moment, when Karin was only a few inches away, the medic swung her right fist up into a powerful uppercut and made contact with the girls face sending her glasses in one direction and her in another.

'_**Enough defence! It's time for some offence!' **_Inner Sakura roared.

As Karin lay meters away, struggling to get back on her feet, the once weak pinkette aimed her powerful fist to the ground. As she made contact with the earth, the land shook and creators and cracks were left in the previously smooth soil.

Then, she launched herself at Karin and let out a powerful onslaught of attacks.

* * *

><p>What the hell?<p>

Sasuke steadied himself after Sakura's unexpected, earthquake causing attack. When…how…where did she learn to do that? Even the people in the village must have felt that.

"Are you surprised?"

"Huh?" Sasuke turned. It was Kakashi who had spoken.

"Are you surprised?" the grey-haired man repeated "Because you look surprised. Didn't really think that little Sakura could become so strong, did you?" Sasuke's former sensei let out a sigh and turned back to the sparring girls "You weren't the only one. When she first did that when I sparred with her, I was so surprised that I gave her the opening to take me down in three seconds flat. We had never paid much attention her, none of us gave her the time of day…but here she is, our strong kunoichi...she did it all by herself too, even after all three of us let her down…"

Sasuke knew what he was talking about. Even though Naruto's gaze was directed at the training ground, Sasuke knew that he was listening and agreeing with every word Kakashi was saying. Naruto had always been there for Sakura, supporting and sticking up for her when no one else would. He used fight her battles for her, and never gave her the chance to let her fight by herself. He had failed her. Once he was gone, she was able to grow.

Kakashi had been too absorbed with his boys becoming more powerful. It started off with Sasuke, the prodigal child with the mighty sharingan. When Sasuke left, Kakashi turned his attention to Naruto, and always overlooking weak little Sakura. And even when Naruto had left, and Sakura was patiently waiting for her sensei to acknowledge her, for it to be her time to be sensei's favourite…he over looked her, again. He had failed her. Once Sakura came to realise that her beloved sensei was never going to come around, she was able to grow.

Sasuke was the worst. In their genin days, he had constantly belittled her, putting her down even after how hard she was trying her hardest to be stronger, to be useful, despite the fact that she wasn't getting a single once of help from anyone. He tore up every single shred of confidence she had in herself. Then to top it all off, he left her and completely broke her to almost beyond repair. He had failed her the most. When he was gone, she was able to grow.

Without Naruto, Sakura was able to learn how to fight and fend for herself. Without Kakashi, Sakura was able teach herself to expand and develop without the help of others. Without Sasuke, Sakura was able to become confident in herself, and to realise that she really is a powerful warrior.

And even after everything, she still came back to them and treated them with the respect, care and love that they never showed her.

Sasuke stared at the young pinkette as she let out another relentless attack that Karin was having trouble avoiding. She hadn't picked up a single weapon yet, she just used her hands.

"Aa." was all Sasuke could say.

* * *

><p>Sakura had been throwing her punches for almost three minutes whist Karin desperately tried to dodge and throw in some of her own attacks.<p>

'_**Dammit! This is getting boring, let's get this thing over with already!' **_Inner Sakura grumbled.

'_Time to end this.' _Sakura paused with her attacks and jumped back a few meters away from Karin, allowing the red head time to breathe.

How dare she. How dare that stupid bitch try to make a fool of her, Karin seethed. She clutched her side where Sakura had landed a punch. As she hunched over and huffed, completely out of breath she glared at the pinked haired girl.

Karin grasped the handle of the kunai, this would be her final attack, she would show Sasuke-kun how much of a useless waste of space his so called "team mate" was. _'She is not better than me!' _Karin lunged forward, anticipating Sakura's dodge.

But Sakura is never the one to do as expected. Karin's blade went straight into the pinkette's abdomen.

Time stopped for a brief second. Karin was startled as she watched the crimson blood flow from Sakura's wound. Suigetsu, Jugo and Sai all had varying degrees of shock etched on their features. The colour had completely drained from Naruto's usually bright face. Kakashi swallowed thickly and muttered, mostly to himself, "I wish she'd stop doing that".

The blood in Sasuke's veins ran cold. Why? Why the hell would she just stand there and let herself get hit. From what he had seen before, she could've easily dodged that attack.

Sakura didn't even blink when the kunai embedded itself in her stomach.

With a powerful knee to the chest, Sakura sent her challenger crashing into a tree. Within a second of the attack, Karin found the medic hovering over her, with the bloody kunai that had previously been embedded in the pink haired girls' abdomen, pressed dangerously against her neck.

Karin shook, how did she do that? She was just a lowly medic. There was no way that someone like her should be able beat Karin. The green eyed girl lowered her head so her lips were next to Karin's ear.

"Don't you _ever_ underestimate me." Sakura hissed.

Just as suddenly as she had appeared over Karin, the medic disappeared. Karin watched the girls back as she strode over to her bag and her hands flickered with green chakra again. She plopped herself down on the ground and began to heal the wound on her abdomen that was still seeping blood, her red shirt was stained a darker shade.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelped and ran over to his team mate "Are you alright?"

The girl smiled at the blonde "I'm fine Naruto." She said gently.

"Like hell you are! That kunai went right through you! Oh god, there's so much blood…" he paled as he trailed off. His biggest weakness was seeing Sakura hurt; she shouldn't have to go through such pain, that's why he needed to protect her, from anything and everything.

"Naruto relax, the kunai didn't hit anything major, it didn't even go that far in. Besides after I heal this, I'll be as good as new and we can start our training, okay?"

"WHAT!? You're still going to train after that!? No way, I won't let you, you need to go home now and rest for a few of days, call Tsunade-baachan and take a couple of weeks off work, oh oh oh and while you're calling her, tell her to come over and heal you so you won't die!" the Kyuubi vessel screeched and huffed.

The pink haired girl blinked up at him from the floor. Then she began to laugh, and not like a tiny giggle either, a powerful wholehearted laugh that made tears role down her cheeks and made her grasp her sides…that is until it became too painful because of her injury.

Her reaction sent her teammate off again "What are you laughing at! This is serious Sakura-chan! You're always telling us that we have to be careful when we get injured. You said that if it isn't treated immediately it could get infected and then it could cause you to die a slow painful, agonizing death! Oh god! You can't die Sakura-chan! What on earth would we do without you?! Who's going to give me the medicine for indigestion when I eat too much ramen!? Who's going to find a new hiding place for Kakashi's porn when a new edition comes out!? Oh dear lord... who will Teme marry and have hundreds of ki-"

WHAM!

Sakura blinked. What happened? A second ago Naruto was standing in front of her and babbling about some nonsense…and then the next second he was…

She turned her head, and blinked again because the display in front of her was just too weird to comprehend properly.

There was the Uzumaki boy on the floor…and on top of him was Sasuke with one hand over the blonde's big mouth and the other hand around the morons' neck.

What the…?

"Dobe I'm going to kill you…" Sasuke seethed so that no one else would hear.

The blonde let out a loud slurp as he licked his team mates palm, cause the Uchiha to let go in sheer disgust.

"Teme, don't worry, she's going to be fine, I promise." Naruto consoled his _obviously_ distraught friend.

"That's not what I'm talking about…what the hell are you doing?"

Naruto had wrapped his arms around the Uchiha in an awkward hug "Whenever I'm upset, I always feel better after a good, long hug. Come on teme, we'll get through this, just hug it out teme, hug it out."

The idiot obviously needed another beating, and that's exactly what Sasuke gave him.

"What are those two doing?" Sakura muttered. Really, could those two not go a minute without arguing?

"They're just worried about you."

Sakura turned to her sensei "Huh?"

He smiled at her as she finished healing herself "I know they have an annoying way of showing it, but they do care about you, we all do." his eyes flicked to her stomach, to make sure that the bleeding had stopped.

The pinkette smiled up at the man who she felt was like a father to her. "Yeah, I know."

Kakashi chuckled to himself "Although it is amusing to watch Sasuke terrorise Naruto, we should probably get them so we can go train, even if it's just for a little bit."

She nodded and with her sensei, she headed over to her two other boys and they convinced Naruto that she was alright to train for an hour and they convinced Sasuke to not kill Naruto until after training was over.

* * *

><p>"Oi skank, get up off your fat ass so we can go train." Sai droned to the girl still on the ground.<p>

"I hope Sakura-san's alright." Jugo muttered "That cut looked very bad."

"Sakura-chan's such a badass! Did you see how she just let the banshee stab her!? And then BOOM! What a punch! You sure got your ass handed to you Karin." Suigetsu snickered in delight.

Karin didn't care what the three of them had to say. There was only one thing going through her mind.

Sasuke-kun was looking at that bitch. He hadn't even paid the slightest bit attention to her, only that stupid, man-stealing whore. Karin could feel it; her Sasuke-kun was slipping away from her, into the hands of that home-wrecker.

She wouldn't let it happen. Karin picked herself up and dusted off her clothes. She was not a quitter, and she wouldn't let anyone take her man away from her. Especially Haruno Sakura.

Sakura wiped the perspiration from her brow. She had managed to work up a sweat despite her teammates holding back on her, as per usual.

* * *

><p>"Alright I think that's enough for today." Kakashi called out, eyeing his female student in particular. Even with her injury, Sakura had still managed to land a few powerful blows on her teammates that took them all by surprise.<p>

"Alright! Let's go get some ramen!" Naruto cheered "You coming, Sakura-chan?"

"Nah, I better get home and heal this properly" she said gesturing to her abdomen "you know, before it gets infected and I die a slow, agonizing death."

The blonde paled

Sakura giggled and the gullibility of her team mate "Just kidding. You guys go on without me; I have to buy some groceries anyway."

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked uncertainly.

"Go, go." Sakura shooed her teammates away. After she watched them walk out of the training grounds, she strolled over to her bag as prepared to leave as well.

"Hey."

Startled, Sakura spun around to see who had snuck up on her. "Sasuke ?"

"You should heal that properly." he muttered to the shell-shocked girl. "It would be bad if you were hurt."

And just like that, he was gone.

'_What the hell was that?' _Sakura thought, as his words echoed around her head.

'_It would be bad if you were hurt.'_

_._

_._

_._

What?

* * *

><p>"Oi teme, where'd you go?" Naruto asked after the Uchiha caught up with them.<p>

"I forgot something." Sasuke answered simply.

Before Naruto could interrogate the boy anymore, Kakashi spoke up "Hey Naruto, hand me the Hit List."

'_Oh god, not this again'_ Sasuke thought.

"Huh, what for Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, but handed the sheet of paper to the grey haired man anyway.

"Number 14. Candidates must be a worthy sparring partner. I'm pretty certain that Sakura's got that covered, don't you think?" Kakashi stated matter-of-factly.

"Yes, yes, YES!" Naruto cheered "Sakura-chan is an amazing sparring partner! She totally qualifies! Don't you think so teme?"

Sasuke blinked "Sakura's…" he started

"Changed?" Kakashi suggested.

"Grown?" Naruto put in helpfully.

Sasuke thought for a moment then, "Strong." he said and continued on towards Ichiraiku's, leaving Naruto and Kakashi in his wake.

"Holy shit, Kaka-sensei. Teme just admitted that he thinks Sakura-chan's strong." Naruto grasped his sensei's shoulders and shook him violently "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!"

'_Sasuke's finally realised that he does in fact have feeling for Sakura?' _Kakashi thought to himself, but Naruto provided the answer for him.

"IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!"

All Kakashi could do was face palm at his student's stupidity.

Idiot.

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	10. ten

This chapter is especially dedicated to **Night Kaida** for loyally reviewing every single chapter and to **CherryGirl164** for her essay of a review in the last chapter! And to everyone who has ever taken the time to review, thank you so much, you are the reason that I write.

Much Love,

Cap'n Jackelback.

* * *

><p>At two o'clock in the morning any respectable person, civilian or off-duty shinobi, can be found in the deepest of slumbers, dreaming away in the land of fairytales and magic and rainbows. But not Yamanaka Ino, she was wide awake.<p>

Because her godforsaken phone wouldn't stop ringing no matter how hard she ignored it. Seriously, whoever was on the other end is in for a world full of pain once Ino found them. The sleep deprived blonde snatched the phone off her dresser and angrily jabbed the call button.

"WHAT!?" she snapped.

"_This is your fault, you pig!"_

Ino sat up and groaned. That was the unmistakable voice of none other than Sakura Haruno. "What the- forehead, is that you?"

"_Of course it's me pig! Don't ask stupid questions when I'm pissed off at you!"_

"What the hell are you doing calling me at 2o'clock in the freaking morning!?"

"_I can't sleep, and since it's your fault you're going to suffer with me! And what did I tell you about asking stupid questions!"_

The young Yamanaka girl spluttered at her best friend's irritated tone. How the hell was it her fault that Sakura couldn't sleep? She took a couple of deep breaths and tried to collect her thoughts. "Okay forehead, why don't we take a nice calming deep breath and then you can explain to me WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, YOU PSYCHOTIC BITCH!"

"…_well someone's got their pigtail in a twist…"_

If she could, Ino would have reached through the phone and strangled her infuriating friend. "Not that I don't love talking too you forehead, especially at ungodly hours of the night, but do you mind explaining to me what exactly you seem to think is my fault."

"…_I can't sleep..."_

"Yes, I got that."

Ino sighed and massaged her brow, "Why exactly can't you sleep?"

"_I've…I've got-"_

"You've got your period? Because that would explain a lot..."

"_NO I HAVE NOT GOT MY PERIOD! I-"_

"Oh my god you're pregnant!" Ino bolted up in her bed.

"_I AM NOT PREGNANT!"_

"You're right. It wouldn't be possible, considering the last time you got intimate with a man was with old Tsuguchi-san. Remember when he was dancing around naked in the maternity ward and you had to tackle him and tie him up so you could take him back to his room…"

"_Ino."_

"Kinky stuff, Sakura."

"_Ino."_

"You know, he still talks about you…"

"_PIG, WOULD YOU SHUT UP!"_

"Alright fine, now tell me what's keeping you from falling asleep."

On the other end of the line Sakura paused _"I've got these…these feelings…"_

"What do you mean by feelings?"

"_Like, weird-uncontrollable-feelings-that-are-keeping-me-from-falling-asleep kind of feelings."_

The blonde sighed, "Saki, we're women. We're supposed to have these feelings, silly."

"_Yeah but I thought I got rid of these stupid feelings years ago like you guys told me to but then things started changing and now team seven is back and you just had to bring it up again yesterday and now I can't stop thinking about everything and I think those feelings are coming back again and-and-and-and THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"_

What the hell…? All Ino could do was blink at her friends' outburst. What was she on about, and did she say all that in one breath? The as she listened to her friends heavy breathing, the blonde thought back to their conversation yesterday with the other girls. Seriously, what could she have possibly said to make Sakura so…

'…_**unless you're still in love with Sasuke…'**_

Oh. Shit.

"Sakura, is this about Sasuke?"

The sudden stop of Sakura's deep breathing from the other end of the line told Ino that she had hit the nail on the head.

"Oh Sak…"

"_Dammit Ino! I was over him! I was so over him and then Tsunade just had to reassemble team seven again! I have to see him every day at training like when we were twelve! And then when you mentioned him yesterday I just had to analyse how I…_feel_ about him. And you know how I over analyse things! Then he goes and says whatever-that-was to me yesterday…"_

"Wait hold up." Ino cut her off "What did he say?"

"…_I…he…it's a long story…"_

"Well there's no way I'm going back to sleep without hearing this. So spill girly."

"_Ugh fine. Well yesterday when I was supposed to train with the guys, Karin comes up and says she wants to spar with me but, you know all she wanted was to make me look like a weakling..."_

"OH that WHORE! She was probably trying to impress her precious _Sasuke-kun. _Please tell me you kicked her slutty little ass."

"_Please Ino, it's like you don't even know me…"_

"Atta girl."

"_Anyway…I may have let her stab me so I could get the whole thing over with. And you know how Naruto is. If I even get a paper cut he'll volunteer himself as a blood donor. So he goes on and on and makes a big deal about me dying and totally exaggerates the whole thing. Anyway, then we had training like normal, and I could totally tell that they were all going easy one me and whatever. Then, after training I tell them that I can't go to Ichiraiku with them 'cause I have to do the grocery shopping and stuff. And then after those three left I was packing up my stuff and he…"_

"He? You mean Sasuke?"

"_Yeah, he comes out of nowhere and he's all like…"_

"What did he say forehead! Quit holding out on me woman!"

"_Alright, alright. He says _**'You should heal that properly. It would be bad if you were hurt.'**_ I just… ugh!"_

"Oh my god…"

"_I know right. What is that even supposed to mean?"_

"Oh gosh forehead, he was worried about you! Oh my gosh…"

Ino heard her pink haired friend scoff from the other side of the phone. _"Come on pig. This is Sasuke we're talking about; he doesn't care about anything…least of all me"_

The tone of sadness in Sakura's voice concerned the Yamanaka girl. "Oh Sak…you still have feelings for him, don't you."

"_Why else would I be calling you!?...the thing is…I don't know what _kind_ of feelings I have, for all I know, I could just be over analysing myself again and… UGH! Pig I hate you!"_

"Calm down forehead! I just don't want you to get hurt again…"

Sakura was silent. "Forehead?" Ino asked nervously.

"_Yeah pig, I'm here. You know what… I was exaggerating. I'm fine and I'm _definitely_ over Sasuke. Don't worry about it…"_

"Forehead..."

"_I'm FINE pig. Sorry for waking you…"_

Ino sighed to herself. Yeah, like she was going to fall for that bullshit.

Sakura was _so_ in denial, but the blonde was still worried about her. She had taken it the worst, when Sasuke left. Sakura had tried to keep it bottled up so not to worry everyone, but Ino had known her for far too long. She knew Sakura wasn't only pushing herself to get stronger for her own benefit, but so she could help Naruto bring Sasuke back. Ino knew that Sakura didn't disappear to the hospital everyday like she claimed, but instead she went to the bench in front of the Konoha gates. And Ino knew that Sakura's red eyes weren't from over working, but from crying herself to sleep every night.

After everything her best friend had gone through, Ino just wasn't sure that Uchiha Sasuke was worth it

"Fine, fine" Ino muttered, "But you're meeting me and the girls tomorrow for breakfast at the café."

"_Pig, I said I was fine…"_

"I don't give a damn what you think you are. You _are_ coming tomorrow. Understood?"

Ino heard the girl sigh. _"Geeze, fine I'll be there. See you tomorrow. Goodnight."_

"Night." As Sakura hung up, Ino began thinking…Sasuke wasn't one to shown concern about anyone, did he…maybe…have _feelings_ for Sakura? Or was he just finally getting some hormones and perving on the nearest female.

And then suddenly Ino activated Mamma-Bear Mode.

Ohhh _hell_ no.

She would not let that damn Uchiha rip out her best friends' heart and stomp all over it again. If that boy wanted to have anything to do with the pink haired beauty he would have to prove himself worthy… by Ino's standards.

With a new found determination Ino buried herself in her blankets and went back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Sakura groaned. After hanging up on Ino she had not gotten a wink off sleep, she had been too busy trying to convince herself that Sasuke Uchiha was nothing but a team mate to her.<p>

Key word being: _trying._

Now she was miserably making her way to the café where she was assigned to rendezvous with her female companions.

Why couldn't she have fallen for a nice guy who wasn't a vicious psychopath half the time and a moody, grumpy douche the other half? Even better, why couldn't she have fallen for someone who actually likes her back? Maybe this was it; maybe she was destined to a hopeless love life and end up being an old spinster who devoted herself to her work in order to have minimal to no romantic contact with anyone.

Oh god. She was going to end up like Tsunade.

But without the amazing boobs.

Great, she was going to be Tsunade but without any attractive assets whatsoever. Great, just perfect.

The young medic rounded the corner and the little café came into view. Sitting in their usual table was Tenten, Hinata and Ino, all deep in conversation. And Sakura just knew they were talking about her.

She knew that calling Ino would be the wrong move. But she went ahead and did it anyway. Sakura had a feeling right when she hung up last night there was no way that Ino was going to drop it, but did she have too rope in the other girls as well?

She took a deep breath and marched over to her conspiring friends. As soon as they saw the young medic approaching their discussion died and an awkward hush came over the group. Sakura immediately fixed her harsh glare on her conniving blonde friend. This was all that pigs doing.

Ino cleared her throat and laughed sheepishly "Hey forehead, it's about time you got here. We were just talking about you…"

"I bet you were" Sakura said coolly. She pulled her chair out and sat down. Her friends had _generously_ ordered her regular black coffee with two sugars and it sat, steaming in front of her with the other girls' beverages.

Tenten leaned forward "Ino filled us in on what you guys discussed last night." she said with a slightly concerned tone in her voice.

"Did she now?" Sakura crossed her arms and glared at said blonde, "Did she also fill you in on how I realised that I was overacting and that it really was _nothing_." her voice strained.

"Sakura-chan, please, you can tell us the truth" Hinata said "We know that Sasuke-san was a big part of your life, and it must be hard to move on."

"But I did move on, Hina-chan. I'm over him okay. Sasuke is just a team mate to me, like I said before. It's just that, the reformation of team seven reminded me so much of the old days, I tricked myself in to thinking that I'm still the same twelve year old girl with a crush on her team mate."

Ino grasped her friends' hand "Sakura, you didn't just have a crush on him, you were in _love_ with him. No one just falls out of love like that." She felt her friends hand tense under her own at the word 'love'.

"You know it's alright to still love him, right?" Tenten put in, smiling gently.

Hinata nodded in agreement, also smiling. 'We'd all feel the same way if we were in your position, Sakura-chan."

"You guys, it's been years since I...had feelings for him" Sakura said, her voice losing some of its confidence.

"Are you sure forehead?" Ino asked "Or did you just convince yourself you don't still love him?"

The young medic looked up at her best friend, confusion in her eyes.

"It's a natural coping method." The blonde shrugged "To pretend that you don't care, so that you don't get hurt again."

Sakura sighed in defeat "I don't know…" she began "I'm just really confused…I don't know…" she muttered mostly to herself "what if I do…but I was so sure that I was over him…maybe I… oh god!" Sakura groaned and buried her face in her hands. "I have no idea; I don't even have a freaking clue! I hate this! Urgh! Every time I look at him I feel…"

"Nervous?" Tenten suggested.

"Butterflies?" Hinata asked.

"Happy?" Ino put in hopefully.

"Nauseous." Sakura finished.

Her three friends groaned. "It's like there's this churning in my stomach and I feel really sick." The pink head continued.

The other girls shared a look _'Yeah, __love__sick' _they all thought.

"I don't even know how I'm going to face him now." Sakura mumbled.

Tenten went to pat her friend on her shoulder but stopped at she spotted something behind the young medic. "Oh no." Tenten muttered.

Sakura looked up at the weapon mistress's unnaturally anxious face. "What's wrong Tennie?"

"Uh…you better figure out a way to face Sasuke…and really soon…"

"What are you-?"

The young medic was cut off by an annoyingly familiar voice.

"Hey Sakura-chan!

The pink haired girl spun around in her seat. Rapidly approaching the little café was a beaming Naruto who was waving frantically, along with Shikamaru, Neji…

…and Sasuke.

Sakura hastily turned back to the girls.

"I think I'm going to puke."

* * *

><p>Well this was a pleasant surprise Naruto couldn't help but think. Just as he and the guys were heading to Ichiraiku for a nutritional breakfast, they happened to stumble upon the girls who were enjoying each other's company over a cup of coffee. And it would just be rude of him not to greet his wonderful team mate…along with the lovely Hinata-chan.<p>

The Uzumaki boy turned and grinned at his male companions. The gleam in his blue eyes conveyed one message. _'Let's go get us some babes!'_

As he trotted towards the girls, still waving hysterically, the three boys exchanged glances…that idiot was going to get himself beat up. You don't go interrupting the girl's private meetings unless you wanted a ticket straight to the hospital. Never the less the boys sighed and followed him anyway. They had to make sure the dobe didn't die.

As they guys got closer to the booth they noticed that something was strange. The four girls all seemed very tense…especially Sakura. She didn't even turn around when they arrived. She was just staring intently at her cup of coffee.

"Uhhh…Hey …" Naruto began "Is everything okay?"

Ino took control of the situation and cleared her throat "Yeah, everything's great." she answered for the girls.

Naruto looked at Sakura uncertainly "Sakura-chan?"

The pink haired mumbled a little and nodded her head, but her eyes never left her cup. Her blonde teammate kept a sceptical gaze on her.

"So…" Tenten started, trying to distract the boys from Sakura's stiff demeanour "What brings you guys here?"

Her diversion seemed to have worked, Naruto grinned at the four girls, "We were just on our way to Ichiraiku's for breakfast and we were wondering if you lovely ladies would care to join us." He flashed another smile specifically at Hinata who blushed furiously.

"Actually we just ordered our breakfast and it should be here soon, and besides who eats ramen for breakfast?" Ino stated taking a sip from her latte.

"Well maybe we can join you." Shikamaru asked but already pulled a chair next to Ino and sat down.

Neji followed his lead and pulled up a chair next to Tenten and whispered in her ear, "Please don't make us leave, Uzumaki's had us eating ramen for breakfast all week..."

Tenten smiled weakly in sympathy.

Naruto spluttered "But-but- RAMEN!?"

"Naruto, don't be rude." Shikamaru scolded him coolly.

The blonde quickly quietened down when he realised that this would be the perfect opportunity to have some heart to heart chit-chat with Hinata-chan. "Oh well!" he giggled.

Naruto took a seat next to the blushing Hyuga heiress, which left Sasuke to sit…

…right next to Sakura.

As he sat down he muttered a "Hn." of acknowledgement to his pink haired teammate. She let out an unintelligible sound in response.

Sasuke flicked a questioning gaze at her but she wasn't even facing him. In fact she was on the edge of her seat furthest away from him; she looked like she could fall off any second.

Sasuke blinked. Did he smell bad or something? Maybe it was the new shampoo he used this morning…?

He knew that he should have gone with Nexus Black over Suave Fresh. But no, he needed to have a hair product that had a minty tang and not only moisturized but invigorated his scalp.

God dammit.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile, inside the mind of Haruno Sakura:<strong>

SHIT! FUCK! CRAP!

He's right freaking THERE!

SHIT! FUCK! CRAP!

He's freaking LOOKING AT ME!

SHIT! FUCK! CRAP!

He's staring into my SOUL!

SHIT! FUCK! CRAP!

…he smells nice though…

! #$%^&*&^%$#!ASDFGHJKL!#$%^&*&^%$# !

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	11. eleven

Dear readers,

I would first like to apologize for being so neglective. I've been extremely busy with school work, but I have good news. Here in Australia school is coming to an end in a few weeks and I'll be on my summer holidays! And since I have no life what so ever, I will be spending my holidays writing chapters for Hit List…so…yay!

Secondly, we're fast approaching the anniversary of the day Hit List was first published! I Pinkie Pie promise that I will have an extra long chapter on the **11****th**** of January!** (Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!) So mark it in your calendars folks!

This chapter is dedicated to **ILoveSxS **for being such a dedicated reader and reviewer; your reviews make me want to write more. Big ups to everyone who has ever reviewed or read my story!

Much Love,

Cap'n Jackelback

And now, without further ado, I present chapter 11 of Hit List.

* * *

><p>Sasuke was not staring. Uchihas do not stare. Especially at their pink haired team mates. No, Sasuke was merely observing...yes that's it...<p>

And it wasn't as if he had no reason to. Sakura was acting very strange.

The pinkette was fidgeting uncontrollably and shifting her gaze to absolutely everything _except _him. Her whole body seemed tense and she looked as if she was going to bolt at any second. Through closer inspection (note that he _inspected _he did not _stare_...there is a difference) he noticed that her eyes had bags under them as if she had been kept up last night and that her usually manicured nails had been chewed down completely.

She was avoiding him...well she was avoiding him more than usual. His relationship with Sakura had not fully mended itself like it had with Naruto or the others. Sure, she was civil with him, but she wouldn't go out of her way to acknowledge him. In fact she would take whatever opportunity she had to ignore him if it didn't seem rude.

Sasuke understood that she had every right to avoid him. In fact he knew that she was paying him much more respect than he deserved. But he was still surprised. Out of everyone, he thought that it would be Sakura that would welcome him with open arms and that they would easily fall back into the way they were before...everything happened.

Maybe it was what she had said that night, that allowed him to hope.

"_I …I love you so much that I can't stand it!"_

Sometimes when he was training with Orochimaru or working with the Akatsuki and apprehension of what he was doing caught up with him, he allowed himself to imagine what could have been if he had stayed in Konoha ...with Sakura.

What would have happened? Would they have ended up together? Maybe...?

But there really was no use in imagining. He knew that he let go of that reality the moment he knocked her out and left her on that god forsaken stone bench. He was sorry for doing that, truly he was, but what else was he supposed to do? Take her with him? No way in hell. Sakura's innocence and purity did belong on his path of hatred and revenge. Sasuke would not allow himself to taint her.

Out of all the horrible decisions he had made, leaving Sakura behind was the only one he was sure he had chosen right. Contrary to popular belief, Sasuke did in fact care about Sakura.

And that's precisely why he was staring- no, no, no! _Examining_, her. Clearly something was wrong.

As he tried to pick up what exactly was bothering her, Sasuke felt someone kick him under the table, and not lightly either. He scanned the faces at the table until his glare landed on his stupid, blonde, male team mate.

Naruto sent him a mischievous grin and a meaningful glance. His eyes flickered to the medic beside Sasuke then back to the Uchiha, he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Sasuke realised _maybe_ he had been staring and that he should probably stop before the blonde made a huge, unnecessary fuss. But not before he retaliated and landed a sharp kick to Naruto's shins.

"Gah!" Naruto shrieked.

The young Hyuuga girl looked at him in concern, "Naruto-kun? Are you alright?"

"Yeah Hina-chan" he laughed awkwardly "never better." the blonde sent a glare in the direction of the Uchiha.

"Well this has been fun." said Sakura, who had not spoken since the guys had arrived, "but I think I better get going..." she hurriedly grabbed her cold coffee and made move to exit the booth.

Naruto pouted, "Aww Sakura-chan, where're you going?"

The young medic froze.

_**"Quick, think of something!" **_Inner Sakura ordered.

"I'm going to the hospital." the pinkette lied quickly.

The blonde man looked at her curiously and cocked his head to the side, "But didn't granny Tsunade order you to have a holiday?"

_**"Shit! He's on to us!"**_

Sakura glanced at Ino, panicked and pleading. The Yamanaka girl just shrugged helplessly and gave her friend a pitiful look. Fortunately for Sakura, Tenten was there to rescue her.

"Oh yeah, Sakura said that she would get me a scroll from the hospital that I've been dying to read." the weapon mistress lied easily.

Sakura shot her friend a grateful glance. Sasuke's eyes were still on her and she felt that his gaze was burning a hole into her skin. She really didn't know how much longer she could last before bursting into tears. Thanks to Tenten she could finally make her escape.

If only it had ended there. Being the devoted boyfriend that he is, Neji couldn't help but ask "What's this scroll about?"

"Umm..."

"Hormones!"

The member of the table turned to the now blushing Hyuga girl who was responsible for the outburst. _Hormones?_ Hinata looked apologetically at her female companions. It was the first thing that had come to her mind.

"Ummm..." Naruto began uncertainly "why does Tenten want a scroll on hormones?"

An awkward silence covered the table. Poor Tenten felt like she was melting into the chair under the intensity of her boyfriends gaze. She would have a lot of explaining to do later, but right now she had to get Sakura out of her before she spontaneously combusted.

Ino cleared had throat and decided that it was time that she stepped in. "It's about lady issues" she said confidently, much to the horror of Tenten. "Now of you'll excuse us," she said grasping the frozen Sakura by the arm "we have to get going." And with that the pinkette and blonde raced out of the cafe with Hinata and Tenten close behind them, leaving the boys to wonder what the hell just happened.

"Was that strange for anyone else?" Neji asked his companions after they quickly lost sight of their female team mates. The other men just nodded in agreement, still very confused.

Naruto touched a finger to his chin and put on his thinking face "The real question is..." he paused for dramatic effect, "what's wrong with Tenten?"

"There is nothing wrong with my girlfriend!" Neji snapped.

"Oh yeah?" the blonde retorted "then why does she need a scroll on hormones, huh Neji? Why? Answer me tha-" a sudden realisation came over Naruto and he gasped dramatically.

"Holy shit...SHE'S PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD, ISN'T SHE NEJI! ISN'T SHE!" the blonde pointed an accusing finger at the Hyuga.

Naruto's outburst had gained the attention of many of the patrons at the once quite little café. A sound similar to a growl escaped from Neji's throat. "You idiot!"the Hyuga man hissed "Tenten is NOT pregnant with my child!"

"Oh yeah!?" the blonde retaliated "Then explain to me why exactly she needs a scroll on hormones? And Ino said that it had something to do with '_lady issues_'! Clearly she has a mini Neji growing inside her uterus!" he screeched.

Shikamaru cut into the argument before Neji could strangle Naruto, "_Clearly_, that was all just an excuse so the girls could leave, but they're definitely hiding something..."

The Uzumaki boy blinked at his lazy friend "Well that would make a lot more sense" he muttered thoughtfully. " I mean, it's hard to imagine Neji getting laid..."

The Hyuga snarled and made a lunge towards the now terrified Naruto. Shikamaru managed to catch him by the collar.

"Naruto," Shikamaru droned "stop trying to image Neji having sex...it's disgusting."

The boy spluttered, "That's not what I meant!" he yelled indignantly. He cleared his throat and recomposed himself. "So what do you think they're hiding?"

The boys fell silent as they tried to recall their conversation with the girls, searching for some clue to what their secret was.

After a few moments Naruto groaned exasperatedly "Gah! I don't understand women! Why must they be so confusing?"

Shikamaru and Neji muttered in agreement. Realizing that his team mate hadn't actually spoken since they'd arrived at the café; the Uzumaki turned his attention to Sasuke.

"Yo, teme. What do you think?"

The Uchiha didn't reply, in fact he gave no recognition that he had heard Naruto at all.

Sakura was irritating him more than usual and not because she was clinging onto him like her life depended on it. In fact it was the complete opposite. She hadn't even acknowledged him! No polite "Hello Sasuke", there was no civil "How are you?"

That was their unspoken agreement. Sakura would be as polite as necessary and Sasuke would reply with his usual "Hn", at least until Sakura decided that they could go back to…whatever they were before, because it wasn't like Sasuke would make the first move.

But now instead of moving forward (like he had hoped) they seemed to be going backwards. He hadn't done anything against her _recently_; at least he didn't _think_ he did. So why was she so against him now, all of a sudden? And why did he care?

"Oi teme!" Naruto tried again, still no response. The blonde hated to be ignored. He scanned the area until his eyes rested on a plate of pastries on the table next to them, occupied by a young couple

"Excuse me," Naruto said leaning across to the pair "may I borrow one of these?"

Before the stunned couple could answer, he grabbed one of the baked delights off their plate and hurled it at his team mates' duck-butt shaped head.

As the pastry made contact with his head, Sasuke snapped out of his reverie. "The fuck…?!"

Naruto snickered "Glad to have you back with us teme, now why don't you share with us what exactly you were so distracted by."

The Uchiha growled and dusted the crumbs off his hair "None of your business, dobe."

"Were you thinking about Sakura-chan~?" the blonde sang "And about how much you love her~?"

Sasuke snatched the fallen pastry off the floor. He grabbed his infuriating teammate by his obnoxious collar and forced the soiled delicacy into the squirming blonde's mouth.

It shut the idiot up at least…well apart from the choking sounds…

Neji rolled his eyes at their immature behavior, he and Lee were absolutely _nothing_ like them, "Simmer down children." he muttered.

Shikamaru nodded in agreement, "Getting back to what we were talking about, those four were in a real hurry to get out of here."

Spitting out the remnants of the pastry Naruto yelled out indignantly "I NEED TO KNOW! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!"

After the blondes' outburst silence overcame the café. Most of the patrons, including the couple from the table over, had left out of fear of the strange four boys.

The curiosity was really getting to Naruto, and the little mouse that was powering his brain was working overtime.

.

.

.

And then it came to him.

…Good work little mouse, have some cheese…

"I've got it!"the blonde exclaimed "I know how to find out what the girls are hiding!"

The three other boys glanced at each other. This definitely did not bode well for _anyone_. "What?" they all asked uncertainly.

The Uzumaki boy grinned "A good old fashioned stake out!"

Neji raised an eyebrow "You want us to follow them?"

"How cliché." Shikamaru droned.

Naruto spluttered, "We're not going to just _follow_ them. We're going to track them down and uncover intel, you know, like NINJAS! Think of it as a training exercise." His blue eyes sparkled with mischief "Don't tell me you don't want to know what your girlfriends little secrets are?"

And just like that, Nara Shikamaru and Hyuuga Neji, two of Konoha's best ninja, were hooked into Uzumaki Naruto's hair brained scheme…

How the hell did those two pass the jounin exam?

"What nonsense." All eyes turned to the Uchiha who had spoken, "I'm not interested."

Naruto let out an amused chuckle "Teme, teme, teme, that's exactly what you said about finding out what Kaka-sensei's face looks like. And remember what happened with that."

"Yes I do remember. We wasted almost an entire week following him and we found out absolutely nothing and in the end he even caught us." Sasuke said, crossing his arms over his chest "What a great success that was."

"We were little kids then!" Naruto countered "now we're matured and skilled ninja!"

"Yeah and so are the girls" Neji put in.

"He's right" Shikamaru agreed, "they'll definitely be able to sense us."

A mischievous grin spread over the Uzumaki boy's face "Well then, we'll just have to enlist the help of some of our LGSL brethren."

Yeah…this definitely wouldn't end well…

* * *

><p>The Yamanaka flower shop is one of the most tranquil and serene places in all of Konoha. But the peace was thoroughly interrupted when the four girls came barreling through its doors.<p>

"God dammit Hinata! Hormones!? What the hell were you thinking, god anything would have been better but…but… _HORMONES!?_"

"I'm sorry Tennie-chan, it was the first thing that came into my mind."

"And Ino just had to go add that it was about 'lady issues'. Oh god, now Neji's going to think there's something horribly wrong with me."

"I'm sure Neji-nii won't think that at all…"

"Would you two be quite, hey forehead, are you all right?"

Sakura didn't answer Ino's question, she was too busy banging her head on the store's counter.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID! How could she be so pathetic?! She had completely frozen in front of Sasuke, like she was no better than she was when they were genin. And it's not as if she still liked the guy…she didn't think…UGH! Why was everything so confusing!?

Her friends exchanged worried glances. Sakura was usually very level headed and it was very unsettling when she freaked out. Especially about Sasuke.

"Hey forehead," Ino yanked her friend away from the counter and saved her from losing anymore brain cells, she really needed the ones she had left "Listen to me forehead girl, what you need right now is to take some time out. Somewhere that the boys and Sasuke can't disturb us, alright?"

"Yeah Sak," Tenten added to the hesitant girl "We need to get you back to normal so we can figure all this out."

"They're right Sakura-chan. I think it's a good idea" Hinata chirped.

The young medic let out a sigh, "What do you suggest?"

"The hot springs" the blonde stated matter-of-factly. Hinata and Tenten nodded in agreement and smiled caringly and their pink haired friend.

Sakura smiled weakly in return. She might as well, what did she have to lose? Maybe all that steam would be able to clear up her senses and maybe she could sort through the inner turmoil and start her journey to mending the broken bonds between her and Sasuke.

Or she could just drown herself. That would probably be easier.

…and less painful…

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	12. twelve

One of Konoha's most attractive tourist spots was the Konoha Hot Springs. The steam rose gently above the natural pools that were surrounded by delicate cherry blossom trees. It was impossible to feel stressed in such a tranquil environment.

The four girls arrived...well _three_ girls arrived, dragging a worn out Sakura along with them. The receptionist saw the state the young medic was in and immediately ushered them into the woman's section of the bath house and handed them a basket full of Konoha's famous bath salts and aromatic fragrances. Clearly this girl needs the very best for whatever she was going through.

The four kunoichi changed into the fluffy white bathrobes with the golden initials _KHS _embroidered onto the sleeves. They wandered to the farthest end of the bathhouse until they came to the outdoor area, secluded in thick forestry. One by one they tentatively disrobed and dipped into the steaming pools of water.

Sakura was having a hard time not melting into the warm pool. She didn't realize it, but her inner turmoil about her aloof teammate was seeping out of her pores and she found herself actually relaxing.

"See forehead, isn't this soothing?" Ino questioned, as she sunk further into the pool. Sakura replied with a contented moan of agreement.

The blonde shared a quick glance with Hinata and Tenten. Excellent, the plan was working. The hot spring would soak out all her worries and insecurities and then they were going to get their feisty, self-assured Sakura back. Then they could tackle the issue with the Uchiha, and find out just what exactly his intentions with the pink haired medic were. But until then, the four women were going to enjoy each other's company in the luxurious hot springs and let their troubles float away.

The girls shared a sigh of ecstasy and slipped further into the gloriousness of the hot spring.

* * *

><p>Sasuke really had no idea how the Dobe had convinced him that stalking the girls would be a good idea. But there he was, with Shikamaru, Neji and the blonde idiot himself, seeking out their fellow brethren of the LGSL committee to help them with their quest.<p>

Luckily for the Uchiha, most of them we're busy or away on missions, however they had managed to round up Sai, Jugo and Suigetsu and they were currently searching out Kiba.

"This is stupid." Sasuke muttered.

"Yeah, yeah teme," Naruto called over his shoulder "we heard you the first hundred times."

"Then why haven't you given up?" the Uchiha retorted.

"It's Naruto." Shikamaru answered dryly.

"Stupid is what he does best" added Neji.

Suigetsu let out a hearty laugh and Jugo simply smiled next to him.

Sai, who was trailing behind the group, spoke up "Dickless is taking this very seriously"

The blonde growled but otherwise chose to ignore the 'dickless' remark. "Of course I'm taking this seriously! Don't you want to know why Sakura-chan is acting so strange?!" he demanded.

"The hag is always acting strange..." the ex-root member replied.

The urge to strangle his replacement suddenly came over Sasuke. The artist was getting on his last nerve. The Uchiha suppressed his urge to defend his team mates honour and maul Sai, instead he settled for glaring maliciously at Naruto who had forced him to spend unwanted time with the insufferable artist.

Jugo noticed Sasuke's hands clench into fists as Sai mentioned the young medic. The orange haired man smiled to himself. How interesting.

Completely unaware of the Uchiha's murderous intent, Sai continued "You also said that this was a matter concerning the _Let's Get Sasuke Laid _committee."

Sasuke whirled around and glared at the socially-awkward man "Don't fucking say that out loud!" he hissed.

"I don't see how Ugly and the other three acting odd is a committee issue" Sai continued, ignoring the fuming Uchiha.

"Well," Naruto drawled "Sakura-chan is a potential candidate to be teme's girlfriend."

Sasuke nearly face palmed. Not this again.

"And it's our duty to make sure that she has enough mental stability to handle the teme" the blonde continued.

"I really don't think anyone is mentally stable enough to handle Uchiha" Neji muttered and took no notice of Sasuke's snarl.

"Yeah" Suigetsu chuckled in agreement "and besides, a bit of crazy could do him some good."

"I'm right here you know." the onyx eyed man growled.

He was replied with a chorus of "We know."

Before the Uchiha could retaliate Naruto spotted the man they were searching for. "Hey! Kiba!"

He really wasn't hard to miss, seeing as he was sitting on Akamaru who was basically the size of a house…well not a house, but he was pretty damn big.

The Inuzuka blinked at the group approaching him, "Err...hey guys, what's up?"

Naruto stepped forward grinning "As a fellow member of the LGSL committee, we need your help with a very important mission." he stated matter-of-factly.

"What kind of mission?" Kiba asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We need your help to find Sakura-chan!"

Kiba blinked in surprise, "Sakura?" his face cracked into a wide grin as he turned to Sasuke "Well it's about damn time! Geeze I was beginning to think you two would never get together!"

The Uchiha's eye twitched in irritation "I am not _'getting together'_ with Sakura. The dobe is being stupid…as usual."

Kiba frowned and turned back to Naruto. The blonde shook his head and rolled his eyes "You see what I have to deal with." he muttered exasperatedly.

"Alright, then why _do_ you need to find Sakura?" Kiba asked.

Shikamaru decided that he'd better explain "Sakura, Ino, Tenten and Hinata were acting suspiciously this morning and Naruto decided that instead of talking to them we should stalk them and invade their privacy to find out what's going on. It's all very troublesome."

"Well now that you mention it," Kiba started "I did see the girls around half an hour ago. They were moving pretty quickly, but I'm pretty sure that Ino was dragging Sakura around. Now that I really think about it, Sakura looked pretty messed up…"

Messed up? A sudden wave of anxiety washed over Sasuke. He shared a glance with Naruto who had terror in his eyes. Something was wrong with their team mate, their Sakura.

What if she was sick and the girls were rushing her to the hospital and they didn't tell the guys what kind or life-threatening disease was slowly killing the young medic because it was too horrifying for words and it was Sakura's dying wish that the boys were not to be told so they wouldn't worry about her and blame themselves for not being able to save her!

Like hell.

"Which way did they go?" Naruto and Sasuke snapped at the same time.

Kiba was taken aback "I'm not sure…but…hang on, hey Akamaru, can you find the girls?"

The giant dog let out a bark in reply and began sniffing the ground. Within seconds he had found the scent and had taken off with Kiba still on him and Naruto and Sasuke following close behind.

"Hey wait up!" Suigetsu yelled. The five men followed suite, hurrying to catch up.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure Akamaru knows where he's going" Naruto asked as they entered the forestry area of Konoha, "I mean, doesn't he think the girls might be at the hospital?"<p>

Kiba glared at the blonde "Why would they be at the hospital? And besides, Akamaru knows what he's doing" he said, clearly offended. The dog slowly came to a halt as they approached a clearing and let out a soft bark. "Akamaru says they're just up ahead."

"Hang on," Neji muttered "I know this place…"

But it was too late; Naruto was already sprinting towards the clearing. As he reached it he stopped suddenly. "Hey what's with all this fog?" he asked and waved his arms around to try and disperse the mist. He was violently yanked back by his collar into the shrubbery.

"That's not fog you idiot" Neji hissed "That's steam; we're at the hot springs! The _women's_ hot spring!"

And sure enough, not a second later familiar feminine laughter could be heard and as the steam began to clear the boys could just make out four bodies in the hot spring.

"Wow, I don't think I've felt so relaxed in ages" one of the bodies said.

Neji recognised it immediately, "Tenten." he muttered in realisation "We have to get out of here."

"Hold on a second," Shikamaru interrupted "how did you know this was the female hot springs before we even saw the girls?"

Neji's eyes widened and his face slowly turned red. His whole body twitched as if he was remembering some horrible nightmare. "It was an accident…"he mumbled. Seven pairs of eyes were on him, silently urging him to continue. The Hyuga sighed in defeat. "I was training a couple of months ago in this forest when I …err…accidently stumbled into the hot springs…while it was occupied…"

Naruto, Suigetsu and Kiba gasped dramatically. "What happened?" the blonde mumbled.

Neji scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Well the…_ladies_ didn't appreciate me…um _barging in_…so they started throwing things…and yelling…and cursing." The man visibly shuddered "That's when _she_ arrived."

"She?" Naruto, Suigetsu and Kiba asked in unison.

"Yeah," Neji shuddered again "This gigantic woman with a grotesque hairy mole on the side of her face stormed in with a watering jug. The woman wouldn't let me explain and started hitting me over the head with that stupid jug. When I tried to clarify what had happened…I...I…" Neji flinched "I couldn't help it…I…"

"What? What?! WHAT?!" Naruto demanded.

"I looked at the mole." the Hyuga answered in a low voice. He grasped the blonde by the shoulders and stared at him with crazy eyes, "Never look at the MOLE!" he hissed, articulating each word.

Naruto gently pried Neji's hands of his shoulder, "Breathe Neji, breathe."

"We should go before Hyuga has a meltdown." Sasuke spoke up.

The guys nodded in agreement and were about to leave…

"Hey forehead, can you pass me those scented oils?"

"Sure, pig."

Any thoughts of leaving immediately left the boys minds' as the heard the sound of water splashing and their heads turned in sync towards the sound.

Although the steam obscured a lot, it was easy to make out Haruno Sakura in all her naked glory.

The only thing the boys could do was stare and let their minds fill in the blanks that barely masked the attractive medic's body.

"Here pig, catch." Sakura threw the small bottle to Ino. She stretched her arms and back trying to get rid of the kinks she had gotten from sitting, unknowingly unleashing the boys imaginations. She rolled her shoulders then made her way back slowly into the water.

"Sweet mercy…"Suigetsu mumbled "look at that ass…"

Kiba let out a gurgling sound in agreement.

"Holy crap that was…that was…" Naruto started. Then he blinked slowly coming to his senses, "That was… THAT WAS SAKURA-CHAN! YOU PERVERTS! HOW DARE YOU STARE AT INNOCENT, PURE SAKURA-CHAN YOU BASTARDS!" the blonde roared.

Then there was silence. An eerie, eerie silence.

Ever so slowly the boys turned their gazes to meet with the horrified stares of the girls.

Shit.

As Hinata let out an ear-splitting scream all hell broke loose.

The boys clambered over each other in their attempts to escape, only to end up in a tangled mess and roll out from behind the bushes they were hiding in.

Tenten was grasping the now unconscious Hinata and desperately fanning the girl' whist trying to keep herself concealed. Sakura was covering herself with her hands and sinking further into the water while screeching every curse word she had picked up from Tsunade. Her face was quickly changing to the colour of her hair as she realised that she had accidently given the boys a complete view of her body. Her _naked_ body.

Ino glanced at the chaos that her three friends were in then channelled her anger towards the intruders. She stood up menacingly and glared "What the fuck do you think you're doing here, you fucking perverts! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" she roared.

Silence took over once again.

"_Ino!_" Sakura hissed. The blonde turned towards her friend in confusion.

"Best day of my life." Suigetsu mumbled in awe.

And it was at that moment that Yamanaka Ino glanced down and realised that she was, in fact, without any clothes and giving the boys a full view of…_everything._

She screamed and dived back into the water while covering herself with her arms and the anarchy continued.

"What the hell is going on here?!" came a new deep voice.

Neji visibly paled "Oh no. Not her, anyone but _her._"

Looming in the doorway of the main bathhouse, stood the colossal woman that plagued Neji's nightmares, with her hairy mole twitching in irritation.

Her eyes narrowed in on the squirming Hyuga, "_You!_ I thought I told you to never come around here again!" she growled.

"No, no please! I can explain!" Neji tried desperately but the woman was already storming towards him with her watering jug raised with intent.

Shikamaru, Sai and Jugo had managed to escape the tangled mess and had retreated to the safety of the forest. "I think it would be best if we leave…" the young genius muttered. His two companions could only nod in agreement before the three of them took off running back to civilisation.

As the large woman stomped closer to the four cowering boys, the girls had managed to find their bathrobes and scurried back into the bathhouse, carrying the still unconscious Hinata.

"This is all just a big misunderstanding," Neji tried franticly to explain. But the towering woman would have none of it.

"I've had it with you perverts and your disgusting habits! You think you can just spy on these girls,"

"No! We weren't spying, we-" but Neji was cut off by Konoha's number one knuckleheaded ninja.

"Damn Neji was right…" Naruto began, "that mole is massive."

The woman stopped in her tracks and twitched. "It's a BEAUTY SPOT!" she roared.

And with that she let out an onslaught of attacks and the screams of four of the best ninja Konoha has ever seen, could be heard echoing throughout the village.

* * *

><p>Now you must be wondering, 'Where was our dear Uchiha during all of this?'<p>

Well he had left a long time ago. Right after he had gotten a good look at his female team mates' naked body. After that he sprinted right out of there. He didn't need to have his sharingan on to have that image firmly engraved into his mind. Seriously, when the hell did she become so…so…_womanly_? What happened to his lanky, flat-chested, twelve year old team mate?

Sasuke walked briskly through the streets of Konoha with his hands clenching and, without noticing, scaring off every citizen he came across. Sure, he had noticed that she had grown taller and that she wasn't unattractive either, but he had never really noticed her…_assets_.

He couldn't get rid of the image of Sakura stretching her arms and exposing a little more of herself from behind the steam. The Uchiha shook his head violently, trying to dispel the thoughts. "Fucking hormones." he snarled.

"Hey Sasuke!" he heard someone calling his name. Turning he saw Shikamaru, Sai and Jugo leading Akamaru. On top of the massive hound was a very beaten up pile of boys consisting of Naruto, Kiba, Suigetsu and Neji.

Excellent, a distraction. "What the hell happened to them?" the Uchiha asked.

Naruto groaned and rolled off Akamaru and tumbled onto the ground. "After you abandoned us, you bastard, we got our asses handed to us by some mutant, psycho lady…"

Suigetsu and Neji disembarked the dog as well. "It was horrible…" the Hyuga shuddered, clearly traumatised by his experience.

The raven haired man scoffed. "Don't blame me because you couldn't handle some old woman."

Shikamaru nodded in agreement "He's right you know; besides you had it coming."

"Come on Shikamaru," Suigetsu said, rubbing the bruise slowly forming on his arm "don't pretend that you didn't enjoy the view as well." he snickered.

"Ah yes that reminds me" the Nara boy muttered. He turned and administered a well placed punch in the water-nin's gut. "That's for staring at Ino, asshole."

Suigetsu doubled over in pain and collapsed onto his knees.

"Well at least one good thing came out of all of this…" Kiba groaned.

All eyes turned to the Inuzuka boy, "What?"

Kiba grinned "You can cross another requirement off that list of ours. I can vouch that Sakura smelt wonderful."

This time Sasuke actually face palmed.

Naruto beamed. He pulled out the now slightly crumpled sheet of paper from his pant pocket along with a pen that he decided would come in handy.

"Number 16. Each candidate must smell nice! Check!"

The boys, excluding Sasuke who was too busy brooding, all clambered around to get a look at the list.

"Hey, couldn't we cross out number three as well, you know, since we can all agree that pinky definitely has a banging bod." Suigetsu piped in, grinning disturbingly.

Naruto swiftly kicked him in the stomach, causing Suigetsu to crumple to the ground once again. Never the less, the blonde crossed out number three as well.

"Number 3. Each candidate must be beautiful/sexy! Check! Wow, Sakura-chan is on a roll!"

Sasuke groaned, "This is pointless." He turned and continued walking down the road.

"Hey, teme! Where you going?" Naruto called.

"Home." Sasuke needed a shower. A long, _cold_, shower.

As the boys watched the Uchiha's retreating back, Shikamaru spoke up, "Hey Naruto, is there any reason why we seem to be focusing this list on Sakura?"

The Uzumaki simply grinned.

* * *

><p>The girls had managed to wake Hinata up and were changing back into their regular clothes.<p>

"The nerve of those guys! Spying on us! I mean I can see Naruto and Kiba doing that, but Neji and Shikamaru!" Tenten fumed.

"Yeah, well at least you did flash them everything you've got!" Ino yelped.

"Oh god, I probably did!" Sakura groaned "Who knows how long those creeps were watching us! When I get my hands on them…!"

"Well at least Sasuke-san wasn't there…" Hinata muttered shyly.

Ino, Tenten and Hinata watched the pinkette for her reaction.

She scoffed, "Yeah right. Like Sasuke would ever be a peeping-tom."

Ino glanced worriedly at her friend and placed an hand on her shoulder. "Sakura how do you feel...you know, about Sasuke?"

The pinkette scoffed "I just had a minor melt down. I'm over him."

"Sakura, you were in love with him." Tenten whispered.

"No, I had a crush on him" Sakura corrected.

She picked up her belongings and made her way towards the exit.

"Sasuke Uchiha is my team mate, my friend. And that's all he will ever be to me."

* * *

><p>Hello dear readers!<p>

Thank you for reading the latest chapter of **Hit List**. Just a reminder that the next chapter will be extra long and will be coming out on the 11th of January in celebration of the anniversary of when **Hit List**, my first ever story, was published.

Please review, because I just realised that I can reply to them (…a whole year and only now I figure it out…) I would really like to thank each one of you personally and answer any questions you have! I also love the criticism!

Also, has anyone read the latest chapters of Naruto and are freaking out like I am?

Happy New Year!

Much Love,

Cap'n Jackelback

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


	13. thirteen

"I'm going to beat that idiot with a stick…!"

The young pinkette was grumbling maliciously to herself as she headed toward the training grounds with her violent thoughts focused towards her irritating blonde team mate. It was only yesterday that he and some of the other boys had tumbled into the girls' _private_ hot spring session and she hadn't given him a proper beat down yet. She trusted that the other girls would give their own team mates the same appropriate treatment…well, maybe not Hinata…

Luckily the boys had only interrupted them after Sakura had soaked up all the hot springs had to offer. She had returned to her regular hot-tempered self and she had come to an inner epiphany concerning her other, more brooding, team mate.

Sasuke meant no more to her than Naruto did.

Well of course they still meant the whole world to her, they were her family. But there was nothing romantic about either relationship. In fact, Sakura decided, that if Sasuke had been at the hot springs as well he would get the exact same treatment as the Uzumaki.

…little did she know…

As she got closer and closer to team sevens designated meeting spot on the bridge her thoughts became more and more violent. When she finally made it she noticed that her other team mate, the one she _may have, sort of_ had a breakdown over, had already arrived.

"Hey Sasuke." she greeted casually "Has that idiot arrived yet?" she looked around wondering if Naruto may have been hiding from her in fear.

The Uchiha froze. Was she talking to him? Like _actually_ talking to him?

In his state of surprise all he could manage was a measly "no…"

The malicious grin that spread across her face almost worried him. "Good." she spat out.

Glancing at the questioning look the Uchiha was giving her, Sakura decided that she'd better explain. "You'll never believe what that idiot did yesterday. That little shithead was spying on Tennie, Ino, Hina and me! At the hot springs! WHILE WE WE'RE NAKED! And some of the other guys were there as well! Like Neji! Seriously, what the hell! When I get my hands on those fuckers…"

Sasuke would have been a little more worried about the situation, seeing as he was there as well, if he hadn't been so stunned that Sakura was actually trying to have a conversation with him.

Whatever was in the Konoha hot springs' water sure did work. He didn't remember Sakura saying anything longer than a sentence to him since he had come back. He was quite staggered with the change in his team mate, especially after she was acting so strange yesterday.

But he had to admit, it was a _pleasant_ change.

Determined to keep her talking (and also not cause her to suspect that he was involved in yesterday's incident) he nodded and 'Ah-d' and 'Hn-d' at the appropriate times. He watched her small form violently punch the air as she demonstrated how she was going maul their team mate.

Even though their conversation (could you even call it that?) was small, Sasuke never felt so comfortable since he returned, as he did right now.

But alas, the moment was short lived.

"EH! ARE YOU GUYS ACTUALLY TALKING!?"

Standing there, with his mouth practically on the floor was none other than Uzumaki Naruto himself.

Before he could utter another word, he was punched square in the face and was sent flying backwards.

"YOU IDIOT!" the pinkette roared and chased after him. She grasped the startled blonde by the collar "How _dare_ you spy on us at the hot springs!"

Naruto's eyes widened in fear "N-now Sakura-chan, l-let's try to calm down…"

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! You want me to fucking calm down when you purposely invaded our privacy and watched us _while we were naked_! God dammit, how can you be so perverted?! You don't see Sasuke creeping around and peeping on women!"

"B-but teme was…" Naruto trailed off when he locked gazes with the Uchiha over Sakura's shoulder. Sasuke's eyes flashed red with warning as he mouthed what looked like 'don't you dare' from Naruto's perspective. Sakura frowned and waited for him to continue.

"Teme was…"the blonde started, "he was trying to stop us…yeah, he said that it was a stupid idea."

"Damn straight it was a stupid idea! Why the hell don't you listen for a change?" Sakura snapped, clueless to what Naruto was actually going to say.

Sasuke inwardly sighed in relief. He had a reputation to maintain, he couldn't let people find out that he had been spying on his female team mate, even though it was by accident. Although he was confused as to why the dobe had decided to keep his secret. Maybe his Uchiha glare really did have some practical effects.

But that really wasn't it. Naruto wasn't afraid of what Sasuke would have done to him if he had snitched on the Uchiha. No, he was more afraid of what Sakura would do to the bastard. From what he had witnessed mere moments ago, his two team mates finally seemed to be reconnecting. It was only a few more steps forward until those two ended up together, as a _couple_. If the violent young medic found out that the Uchiha was present during yesterdays escapades she would surely blow a fuse and it would be a huge set back. Naruto could practically feel his future pink-haired, onyx-eyed nieces and nephews slipping away from him.

So the blonde did something he had never done before.

He kept quite.

One crisis was averted, now all he had to do was make sure he survived the pinkettes' wrath to see his aforementioned pink-haired, onyx-eyed nieces and nephews.

He raised his hands up defensively "I know it was wrong Sakura-chan, but we were worried about you…"

The female member of team seven paused in confusion. "Huh?"

"You were acting kind of strange yesterday and then you and the rest of the girls took off before we could really ask you what was wrong. That's why we asked Kiba and Akamaru to track you guys 'cause we didn't know where you went. Trust me, we had no idea that you guys would be at the hot springs." Naruto explained "I thought you might've been at the hospital because you were sick or something and you didn't tell us because you didn't want us to worry…"

Sakura sighed in defeat. How could she be mad at him when he was just worried about her? She looked down at his questioning and worried blue eyes and realised that he still wanted an explanation for her odd behaviour yesterday.

"You didn't have to worry Naruto, I was just a little stressed out. You know, with all the stuff from the hospital…"She knew that she shouldn't have lied to her team mate when he was so concerned about her, but there was no way she was going to tell him why she was _really _freaking out, especially not when Sasuke was only a few meters away.

She laughed trying to lighten the situation "You really though that I was in the hospital?" she dusted herself off and helped to blonde up.

Naruto let out one of his own laughs "Yeah well…it's something you would do. Seriously Sakura-chan why is it that you're allowed to worry about us, but we can be concerned about you?!"

"Because you boys," she said, now addressing Sasuke as well "get into so much trouble and I always end up have to healing your sorry asses."

"Aww, but you love our asses!"

Naruto glanced at both his team mates raised eyebrows, "GAH! I didn't mean it like that!" he said waving his hands, then paused, "Although…" he turned and tried to admire his rear quarters only to end up spinning in circles like a dog chasing its tail.

"What an idiot…" Sasuke and Sakura mumbled together.

"Yo!" Kakashi decided to make his entrance "Sorry I'm late but-"

"Save it sensei." Naruto had finally stopped spinning "let's just start training."

"Now hold on a second," the silver-haired man spoke up, "I have a little announcement to make!"

"Oh god," Sakura groaned "You knocked up some woman, didn't you?"

Kakashi's eyes widened in shock. That _so_ wasn't where he was going. Before he could correct the pinkette, Naruto interrupted him.

The blonde scoffed "Please, Kaka-sensei is too old to knock anyone up…"

"Hey! I'm not that old!" Kakashi cried indignantly.

"Then explain the grey hair." Sasuke joined the conversation.

"My hair is not _grey_! It's _silver_, it's been like this since I was born!"

"I reckon his eyesight's been deteriorating too." Naruto added.

"One of my eyes is covered!"

"I bet he wears that mask to cover up all his wrinkles" Sakura mumbled.

"I don't have wrinkles! I'll prove it to-_ oh no_!" the Hatake let go of his mask that he was about to pull down, "Nice try, but you won't get me that easily!"

Damn it. They were so close to getting a look at his face…

"Now, although that was a horrible example," the Hatake shot a glare at the three of them "you three ganging up on me is an example of what today's training session will be about."

"We're going to try and get you to show us your face?" Naruto asked.

"_No_. Do you remember what the first thing I taught you was?"

Sakura blinked "Team work?"

"Exactly!" Kakashi grinned, "Now since it's been so long, what with Naruto having gone off training, Sakura busy with the hospital and Sasuke going off on a field trip with that snake guy-"

"And you getting old." Naruto interrupted.

Kakashi glared at the blonde, but continued, "I fear that out team dynamic may have diminished. So I think it would be good idea if we spent today regaining some of that camaraderie especially with our first official mission as a reunited team coming up."

Sasuke had hoped to get some training in today, but he supposed that Kakashi did have a point. He had witnessed how much stronger Naruto had gotten, during the war, and from what he saw during Sakura and Karin's spar, the pinkette had grown considerably as well. And he doubted what saw during the spar was even half of the medic's actual capability.

"So? How are we to do this whole _'regaining camaraderie'_ thing?" the blonde questioned.

The jounin grinned and pulled something out of his back pocket. He held up a small book "By using this and the art of…_role playing!_"

His three students exchanged glances. This did not bode well for them.

* * *

><p>Kakashi had guided his team into the wooded area of the training grounds. The four of them were seated on the ground, waiting for the silver haired man to explain his twisted exercise.<p>

Kakashi cleared his throat "Alright, for this exercise to work you're going to have to be completely honest in your answers and most importantly you must trust your team mates _and yourselves…_" he spoke philosophically.

The young pinkette twitched then turned to her two other companions "Since Kakashi-sensei is in charge of this and it's obviously going to go to shit, nothing we say EVER leaves this circle. Agreed?"

The Uchiha and the Uzumaki nodded in affirmation. Kakashi huffed, but nodded as well.

"Right." the medic spoke in approval "Kakashi-sensei, please continue."

"Alright, I'm going to give you three a series of scenarios from this" he said waving the small book "You three will have to answer what you would do in each situation. Be warned, as we go on, the scenarios will become more and more personal!" he said with a wicked grin.

"Let's just get this over with…"Sasuke grumbled.

"Well since you're so eager to get started, the first question will be for you Sasuke." Kakashi chirped "Okay Sasuke, you Naruto and Sakura are on a mission to retrieve a very important scroll. On your way back to the village you are ambushed by a group of rouge ninja. They are after the scroll as well and are not afraid to kill anyone that gets in their way. They over power you, _but_ there is a chance for you to escape, however that would leave Naruto and Sakura alone and they will surely be killed. So do you (a) sacrifice Naruto and Sakura and return to the village alive and complete the mission, or do you (b) stay and fight with your team and possibly die in the battle together and fail your mission?"

"Stay and fight." the Uchiha answered without a second of hesitation.

His three team mates smiled to themselves with the same words floating through their minds, _'those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum'._ They were finally getting their old Sasuke back, the Sasuke who genuinely cared about them, the Sasuke who saw them as his most important people.

"Besides," the Uchiha continued "there's no way I could be beaten by some rouge ninja."

Naruto twitched at his best friends' arrogance "Way to ruin the moment, teme…"

Sasuke simply raised his eyebrow.

Kakashi chuckled "Let's continue, shall we? Naruto, you're next."

"Hit me Kaka-sensei!"

"You are appointed as Hokage of the village-" Kakashi started

"Hell yeah!"

"I'm not done yet," the Hatake muttered "mean while, Sasuke and Sakura are wrongly arrested for crimes against the village and are sentenced to death"

"What!?" Naruto yelped.

Kakashi continued, "As Hokage it is your duty to see to it that their execution goes through as planned. Do you (a) fulfil your responsibility as leader of the village, or do you (b) break Sasuke and Sakura out of prison and then live a life on the run and give up your dream of becoming Hokage?"

"Geeze Kaka-sensei," Naruto pouted "you should already know the answer to this one. I mean, we did have a prison break plan designed just in case teme…_you know_…besides, being Hokage wouldn't be as fun without Sakura-chan or ordering the teme to call Naruto-_sama_"

They had a plan to break him out of jail? That was news to Sasuke; he glanced at the dobe questioningly.

Naruto shrugged sheepishly "Well, Sakura-chan came up with most of it…its kinda scary how her mind works sometimes…"

The Uchiha caught a glimpse of the pinkette who was refusing to meet his gaze. It marvelled him how far his team mates were still willing to go for him. And it made him feel even guiltier for leaving the village in the first place.

The copy-nin smiled to himself, observing his ex-students interactions. "Yes…I suppose I should have seen that coming. Very well, Sakura, the next question is for you."

The medic nodded, signally Kakashi to continue.

"Naruto and Sasuke have been gravely injured during a fight. You are running low on energy and only have enough chakra to heal one of them. Whose life do you save?"

Naruto and Sasuke froze. What kind of question was that! How could they expect Sakura to answer that…?

The young medic simply sighed, "That's easy…I'd save both of them."

Kakashi blinked "I don't think you understand me Sakura, I said-"

"No Kakashi-sensei, I don't think _you_ understand my medical abilities. After I've used up almost all of my chakra there is a jutsu that only requires the very littlest amount of chakra. It's kind of like a variation of the one Chiyo-sama used on Garra…"

"But-" Naruto stuttered "Didn't Chiyo-baa…_die?_"

Sakura scratched her neck awkwardly "Yeah, that is a side effe-"

"NO!" the blonde yelled. He grasped his team mates shoulders and looked at her with crazed eyes, "Sakura-chan you can't do that! You can't give up your life for us! You have to promise me that you will never _ever_ use that jutsu!"

Sakura rolled her eyes "Fine…"

Naruto let out a sigh of relief.

"But only as long as you two never put me in that position." she continued. Sakura smiled lovingly at her team mates "That goes for you too Kakashi-sensei."

Naruto sighed again, but then glanced at Sakura and returned her smile, "Deal."

Kakashi nodded in agreement and gave her one of his own smiles.

The medic turned to the silent Uchiha. He stared intently at her, then after a moment he let out a soft "Aa."

The pink haired girl beamed, "Good, now, is there any more questions Kakashi-sensei?"

The Hatake chuckled "Oh yes, Naruto, Sasuke, the next question is for the both of you."

The two boys sat up straighter, getting more interested.

Kakashi consulted his book, and then spoke "You arrive at Sakura's house to pick her up for a mission. She is in the bathroom, so you wait for her in her bedroom. On the floor you find a used condom-"

"WHAT!" Naruto roared. "Who the hell touched Sakura-chan?! I'll rip that piece of shit's head off!"

"Whoa, Naruto calm down!" Sakura said alarmed at his sudden outburst.

While she tried in vain to soothe the furious blonde, Kakashi observed the Uchiha's reaction. The avengers' eyes were rapidly spinning red and he was snarling to himself silently. The Hatake smirked.

"Which shit head stole my Sakura-chan's virginity?!" Naruto demanded.

The medic tried to restrain the boy, "Naruto relax. What makes you sure that I'm still a virgin anyway?"

.

.

.

.

The silence that overcame the group could almost be considered deafening.

Naruto had stopped thrashing. Kakashi had dropped his book. Sasuke was frozen stiff. And Sakura was awkwardly clinging onto Naruto and anxiously glancing at her boys. Maybe she shouldn't have said that…

Then, chaos ensued.

"What did she say?" Kakashi muttered "What the _hell_ did she just say?"

"Oh sweet mercy, NO!" The blonde wept dramatically."

"DOBE! This is your fault!" The Uchiha snapped the accusation "You were supposed to make sure this never happened!"

"My fault!?" Naruto replied, tears still streaming down his cheeks "How is this my fault?! Maybe if _you_ hadn't left you could have actually looked after Sakura-chan and she would still be a virg- …a vir-" Naruto burst into tears before he could get the word out of his mouth.

Sakura sighed exasperatedly. She wasn't naive to her team mates over protectiveness. When they were still genin, Kakashi had given a speech on how teenage boys only had one thing on their minds, with Sasuke and Naruto nodding seriously next to him. She was well aware that the reason she hadn't been asked out on many dates when she was younger was because her team mates had been scaring away any boy that was interested in her. She had let it slide years ago because it gave her fluttery feelings in her stomach knowing that Sasuke was protecting her and she liked to pretend that he did it because he was jealous.

But now it was just getting ridiculous.

"Guys, guys, calm down!" she shouted "it's alright, I'm still a virgin."

The men looked at her uncertainly. She groaned "I'm serious."

"No man has touched you…_down there?_" Kakashi asked sceptically.

The pinkette rolled her eyes. What idiots, "No Kakashi sensei, no one has touched me."

The three boys visibly sighed in relief. Sasuke cleared he throat trying to regain his composure. He wasn't entirely sure why he had reacted so badly, obviously Sakura would eventually have someone in her life and they would…

Even though he was trying to be reasonable, the thought only made Sasuke feel sick.

Naruto and Kakashi had been upset for an entirely different reason. In their minds, they had the perfect fairytale, where the brooding Uchiha and innocent medic would fall in love and live happily ever after. To think of Sakura with anyone other than Sasuke was just..._wrong_ to them.

"Very well then…"the silver hair jounin muttered and consulted his book once again "Sakura, you walk into Naruto's room only to find him and Sasuke in bed together-"

"WHAT THE HELL KAKASHI!?" Naruto roared. What the hell was with these questions? There was no way that Naruto would ever…with…_Sasuke…it was sick and wrong!_ Uzumaki Naruto was not gay for his best friend! Sasuke was his brother…that would be like…_incest! _

The Uchiha snarled "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

The young pinkette just blinked. She knew this whole thing was going to blow up in their faces.

"Simmer down boys," Kakashi simply chided "This is all hypothetical. Now Sakura, do you (a) leave the room quietly, do you (b) yell at them to get up, or do you (c) join them?"

She should have known this was where this was going. She glanced at her two boys. Naruto was twitching madly and Sasuke looked as though he was going to pounce on Kakashi any second now.

The Hatake seemed to be oblivious toward the boys' menacing glares "Well Sakura," he giggled perversely "What would you do?"

"Well I guess I'd probably join them."

.

.

.

…what…?!

Well that was unexpected. The three men openly gaped at her.

The young medic simply shrugged "Well, I suppose I have to lose my virginity one way or another."

.

.

.

Silence. Absolute silence. This whole training session was weird but…_this_…this was beyond comprehension to the males of team seven. They stared at their young female companion who had the most nonchalant expression on her face. Once she had said that, their brains had completely shut down.

Seconds passed like hours, until…

Sakura's face cracked into a wide grin and she threw her head back laughing.

"Oh god! You should have seen your faces! That was priceless!" she fell backwards and her whole body shook with laughter. "I can't believe you actually thought I was serious!"

The Uchiha was the first to recover from his shock. He shook his head violently trying to dispel the thoughts of the attractive pink haired woman seducing him into bed. He turned away from the howling girl on the floor and glared into the forest. How stupid…

Naruto was breathing heavily "Geeze Sakura-chan, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

She giggled, "Sorry Naruto, but I couldn't help it! It's too funny!"

Kakashi shook his head. That girl was crazy. Well at least his little plan had worked…though he didn't think that Sakura would reply _like that_…he glanced at the blonde who was still trying to calm himself down. He'd have something to talk to that boy about after they were done with...er…_bonding time._

"Alright the final question is for you Naruto." Kakashi spoke up, trying to regain control of the situation.

"Yeah yeah, Kaka-sensei, get on with it…"

"You walk into the room to find Sakura and Sasuke in bed together-"

"I'm NOT joining them!" Naruto yelped. "Although, I think the real question is why is Sasuke sleeping with everyone?"

Sakura was blushing furiously and buried her face in her hands. The situation had quickly lost all of its humour and the girl had fallen silent.

Sasuke officially decided that he was going to kill Kakashi. Screw the probation, the copy-nin was a dead man.

The silver haired man laughed, "Actually no. What I was going to ask was," he glanced down at his book quickly, "Who is on top."

The medic's red face snapped up to glare at her sensei "What the hell!? How does this have anything to do with team work!? In fact, what do any of these questions have to do with team work?" She reached her arm out towards the Hatake, "Let me see that book!"

Kakashi chuckled uneasily and leaned away from the girl, "Now now…" he tried to reason with her, only to have the book snatched out of his hands by the Uchiha who had snuck up on him.

Before Sasuke could get a proper look at the small book Naruto interrupted him. "Hmm…I reckon Sakura-chan would be on top…"

"What the hell, dobe?!" the Uchiha spat out.

Sakura simply stared at the blonde incredulously.

Sasuke was about to smack the idiot with the book in his hand, until his eyes caught sight of some words printed on the back cover. "Icha Icha Publications…" he read out.

The pinkette blinked then whirled around furiously towards her sensei, "You were using your stupid _porn_ book to teach us about _teamwork!_" she screeched.

Kakashi laughed uneasily "Well I think that's enough for today. You're dismissed." And with that he 'poof-ed' right out of there.

"Come back here, you pervert!" Sakura screeched and furiously stormed towards the village to find and mutilate the copy-nin. She was going to enjoy ripping that sicko, limb from limb.

Sasuke cringed at the book and promptly burned and destroyed the offending item with one of his fireballs.

Naruto strolled over to his friend, "Well that was…interesting?'

The Uchiha scoffed. He really hoped that Sakura got her hands on Kakashi.

"Hey, back at the bridge this morning," the blonde spoke up, trying to defuse the awkwardness of the situation, "were you and Sakura-chan actually, you know, _getting along_? Like, actually having a conversation?"

Sasuke thought back to the morning, "Aa." he said.

"What were you guys talking about?"

Before Sasuke could reply there was suddenly a 'poof' behind them and Kakashi reappeared.

"Yo!"

Sasuke snarled, "Didn't Sakura kill you?"

Kakashi laughed "Not yet. But I have something important to talk to you two about. Naruto, may I have a look at the Hit List?"

The blonde fished the piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to the older man. Kakashi unfolded it and scanned his eye over the list until he spotted what he was looking for. He turned the page around so the two boys could see and pointed to the tenth requirement.

"Candidates must be…open to experimentation…" Naruto read out.

The Hatake grinned, "Sakura did just share with us that she was willing to…_mix things up!_"

'You do know she was _kidding!_" Sasuke snapped furiously. He could feel the back of his neck burning from embaressment. Why wouldn't these idiots just drop this?!

"Now Sasuke, everything a person says has a bit of truth laced through it" Kakashi said in a sing-song voice.

Naruto grinned and pulled out his pen "I accept it!" he said and crossed number ten out next to Sakura's name. "Six down for Sakura-chan, only fourteen more to go!"

The Uchiha growled in frustration then stormed off. He had more than enough of these idiots for one day. That had to be the most stupid training session he had ever had.

As Sasuke disappeared the blonde turned to the older man "Hey Kaka-sensei, this whole bonding session…this was all so you could prove that Sakura-chan had this qualification, wasn't it?"

The copy-nin laughed quietly, "It worked better than I thought. I didn't expect Sakura to come out and just say it. I thought I would have to do some convincing and ask her more questions."

"But why plan all of this?" the Uzumaki boy asked.

"One word Naruto." Kakashi said, "Grandchildren."

* * *

><p><strong>BOLD = SAKURA'S COMPLETED REQUIREMENTS<strong>

1. Be approved of by all members of teams seven, eight, ten, Gai, Kakashi and Taka (except Karin because she's a bitch.

2. Appreciate all members of the afore mentioned teams. (Once again with the exception of Karin, because no one could possibly like that bitch.)

**3. Be beautiful/ sexy**

4. Enjoy the taste of tomatoes

5. Be an exceptional kisser

**6. Be intellectual**

7. Have a kind and pure heart

**8. Have great skills at handling infants and children (and Naruto)**

9. Appreciate the amazing taste of Ichiraiku Ramen

**10. Be open to…experimentation…**

11. Be capable of defeating Shikamaru in a game of Shogi

12. Be an extraordinary cook

13. ..Be youthful…

**14. Be a worthy sparring partner**

15. Show kindness to every species of animal and insect

**16. Smell nice…**

17. Be a good friend

18. Have a melodic voice

19. Have an understanding nature (for when Sasuke becomes angsty)

20. …to be advised…

* * *

><p>Happy 1 year anniversary! Thank you so much for reading and special thanks to everyone who reviewed! Only up to chapter 13 and I've already gotten more than 200 reviews! I got 30 reviews for the last chapter! Wow! And there have been some very exciting messages about <strong>Hit List<strong>! Also to everyone who's been messaging me, you guys are awesome and I love talking to you! Special mention to **HiddenCamellia**, you have made me obsessed with Kuroshitsuji…I hate you…(that was I lie, I love you and I love talking to you!) and also to** golden doe**, AUSSIE PRIDE! Hope the weather gets better for you and there aren't any more horrible bushfires.

P.S. I have tumblr now…capnjackelback . tumblr . com ….so …_yeah_…_I have no idea what I'm doing_…

I'm really glad you guys like **Hit List** so far and I really hoped you enjoyed the latest chapter.

Much Love,

Cap'n Jackelback

* * *

><p><em>Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended<em>


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